James: Portrush, with a Protestant, Unionist majority, yet many Catholics from Derry risk travelling there every summer. Why? Well, because it's got a cracking big dipper.

Aunt Sarah: Get that thing out of my face, James, I haven't even got my eyes on yet.
Gerry: Why'd you bring it, son? You're not going to be able to take it on any of the rides. [Michelle snorts]
Erin: What are you laughing at?
Orla: Is it because Uncle Gerry said "rides"?
Mary: Speaking of rides.
Michelle: [quietly] Seriously.

Mary: Don't be asking to go on that ghost train? Do you hear me? You'll be all Billy big balls at the time, but I'll have to deal with the fallout at three o'clock in the morning when you wake up screaming and crying about some fella with no head.
Orla: Oh, I love the fella with no head.
Joe: The fella with no head is the best bit.
Erin: I just wasn't expecting the fella with no head. But now that I'm prepared for the fella with no head.
Mary: I don't want to hear about it, Erin. I just want to get on that train, sit down, have a cup of tea and relax.

Gerry: Thought I was going to drop dead there at one point.
Joe: Aye, if only.

Michelle: Christ but I'm sweating like a hooker in mass.

Erin: The golden sands of Benone, the crashing of the Atlantic, the wildlife, the mountains, the birdsong. Well, what's any of this without Clare?
Michelle: She hasn't snuffed it, Erin.
James: Yeah, I'm sure she'll get the next train.
Erin: And make the journey all alone because we abandoned her, because we left her behind, and I for one will never forgive myself for that.
Orla: Here comes the snack trolley.
Erin: Oh, happy days.

Fra: Any drinks or snacks?
Orla: I'll have a Coke and a KitKat and...
Erin: I'll have a KitKat as well.
Michelle: Yeah, me too.
Fra: No KitKats, I'm afraid.
Erin: I can see the KitKats.
Fra: They're display KitKats.
James: Display KitKats?
Fra: They're display only. I don't have any in the drawers.
Erin: Well, can we buy the display KitKats?
Fra: No.
Michelle: Why the fuck not?
Fra: Because if I don't have them on display, how will people know they're available?
James: They're not available.
Fra: Well, this is what I'm saying.
Michelle: I'm really fucking confused, lads.

Erin: OK, Fra, is it? This is ridiculous. I would like to speak to your manager, please.
Fra: I am the manager.
Erin: You're the train manager?
Fra: Yeah.
Erin: You're the train manager and you also operate the snack trolley.
Fra: That's right.
Michelle: I suppose you drive the train as well, do you, Fra?
Fra: Sometimes.
James: I'm sorry?
Fra: I own the train. I own all the trains.
Michelle: Fuck me, there's wiser eating grass.
Jordy: [stands up] Jesus Christ! [grabs bag and exits]

Fra: You're upsetting the passengers.
Michelle: You're upsetting the passengers. Stop being a dick and give me a fucking KitKat.
Fra: I'll give you a KitKat.
Michelle: Thank you.
Fra: For 50 quid.
Michelle: Are you nuts?
James: I think we've established he might be. [Michelle tries to grab the KitKat] Let go.
Erin: Come on, Michelle.
Michelle: Make me.
Fra: I'm warning you.
Michelle: Bite my eye.
Fra: Oh, my God, it's Pippa from Home and Away.
Michelle: [turns around] Original or recast?
Fra: Sucker.
Michelle: Oh, you sneaky wee shite.

Tara: [on the phone] I just don't want to get into it, Conor love, OK?
Clare: Excuse me. I need your help.
Tara: It's over. Why can't you just accept that, babe?
Clare: Excuse me, please.
Tara: What is it, honey?
Clare: I missed the train. I was in the loo. When I came out everyone was gone, and it was the wrong platform, and I ran across, but it was too late and I missed the train.
Tara: OK, love, keep your knickers on.
Clare: My knickers are no concern of yours, thank you very much.
Tara: 20 minutes till the next one. Take a seat, gorgeous.
Clare: 20 minutes? Yeah. Sorry, I think I can wait 20 minutes. I think that's fine.
[As Clare turns around, she sees Sister Michael limping to a chair]