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Episode Six

‘Episode Six’

Season 1, Episode 6 -  Aired February 8, 2018

Erin is excited to be made the editor of the school paper. Meanwhile, Orla is obsessed with step aerobics, and Da Gerry has a problem at the photo place.

Quote from Erin

Erin: I'll take her place. I'll step into her shoes. I'll do it.
Sister Michael: Really?
Erin: Absolutely.
Jenny: No, you can't. We're making a statement. You're ruining our statement.
Erin: Look, girls, I know Louise meant a lot to you all.
Jenny: She's not dead, Erin.
Erin: Well, not yet. Hopefully she won't, you know, die, but if she does, the show must go on. Isn't that right, Sister Michael?
Sister Michael: You terrify me.
Jenny: You can't be the editor.
Aisling: You've never even written an article, Erin.
Erin: That's because I can't get anything past Rupert Murdoch over there.

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Quote from Erin

Erin: So, this piece would concentrate on different shoes from around the world, sitting alongside pictures of, you know, different shoes from around the world.
James: OK.
Erin: So, like, how in Russia they wear boots because...
Michelle: Cos it's Baltic.
Erin: And in India they wear sandals because...?
Michelle: It's boiling.
James: So that's it, is it?
Erin: Thoughts?
James: I'm not totally convinced by either of them, if I'm honest.
Erin: Oh, my God. They're shit. They're absolutely shit. How can we print this utter shit?
James: OK, don't panic. [pats Erin's shoulder]
Erin: Don't panic? Don't panic, James? Shoes of the world. What does that even mean?

Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Ah, it's true. Brigitte Gallagher, she's a lesbian.
Mary: Brigitte Gallagher, who works in the post office?
Joe: I believe so.
Sarah: Is she not a vegetarian, Da?
Joe: Sorry, you're right. Vegetarian, Brigitte is.
Ciaran: Well, it's an easy mistake to make, Joe. Can I call you Joe?
Joe: No.
Ciaran: Right.
Gerry: Welcome to the club, Ciaran.

Quote from Erin

Erin: Let's just run through some of our favourite ideas. So, firstly, animals.
James: Animals. Can someone elaborate?
Erin: Yeah. So, this concept would focus on animals, alongside pictures of famous people who look a bit like animals.
Orla: Michelle Pfeiffer looks like a cat.
Erin: Exactly.
James: OK. Right. Animals. Er, what's the next one? Shoes of the...
Erin: Shoes of the world.

Quote from Michelle

James: Can you blame her?
Michelle: Ignore him, Erin. These gays, they all stick together.
James: I'm not gay.
Michelle: What's wrong with being gay? He is such a fucking homophobe.

Quote from Aunt Sarah

Sarah: I'm devastated. That was when I lost the half-stone doing the Rosemary Conley as well. My collar bone was sort of poking through my skin. Do you remember, Mary?
Mary: Aye, you were far too thin, Sarah.
Sarah: I know, I was. It was brilliant, and now I haven't got so much as a photograph to look back on.

Quote from Ma Mary

Mary: Hey! Let me look at that. You call that clean, do you?
Sarah: Different standards, you see, Mary.
Mary: You're not in England now, son.

Quote from Orla

James: Orla was the one who washed it.
Orla: Oh, OK. OK. I have had it with you, James, and your picking, picking, picking, and I won't take it any more. Do you hear me?
James: Is everything OK, Orla?
Sarah: I warned you, Orla. You're putting yourself under too much pressure.
Orla: Can't fail, Mammy.
Erin: Since when have you been troubled by exams?
Orla: Exams? What are you on about, Erin?
Erin: What are you on about, Orla?
Orla: Step.
Erin: I'm sorry?
Orla: Step aerobics.

Quote from Granda Joe

Sarah: You away to do the big shop, Da?
Joe: Aye. Gerry! Gerry! I don't see why that useless drip you call a husband has to be coming.
Mary: Because someone needs to drive and you've been suspended, again.
Sarah: What did you do this time, Daddy?
Joe: Nothing. It's RUC discrimination. The only crime I committed was to be born a Catholic.
Mary: Gerry's never been suspended and he's a Catholic.
Joe: He's also a prick, but that's by the by.

Quote from Granda Joe

Joe: Right, that's us away.
Mary: [to Gerry] Have a nice time.
Joe: Tell that Free State fucker to shift his hole.
Gerry: I'm sure we will.

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