Erin: I won't let you. I won't let you do it.
James: You can't stop me!
Erin: Fine. In that case, I'll just come and watch.
James: What?
Erin: You heard me, James. If you insist on going through with this, well, I'm-I'm going to make sure you don't enjoy it.

Joe: Right, I'll just grab my beads. Be back in a minute. Just make yourself comfortable.
Sarah: You'll not have to ask Maeve twice.
Maeve: Sorry, love, did you say something?
Mary: Gerry's name is on the house, not my da's, if that's what you were thinking.
Maeve: If what's what I'm thinking?
Gerry: Hobnob? Custard cream? Wagon Wheel?
Sarah: What age are you, Maeve? Like, 30?
Maeve: I'm 62.
Sarah: Sugar daddy you're after, is it?
Mary: I just want to let you know, Maeve, we'll never call you Mammy.
Maeve: OK.
Sarah: And I just want to say, although I'm not happy about this thing with me da, I have to give it to you. That is a cracker blow dry. Great volume, lovely movement.

Mary: I cannot believe this.
Gerry: I think it's a good thing, love.
Joe: Oh, just keep out of it, you!
Mary: And that's who you were winking at in mass?
Sarah: Winking? At your age? Christ, I feel sick.
Joe: It was only a friendly wink.
Mary: There is no such thing as a friendly wink!
Gerry: Is there not?
Mary: Our poor mother is barely cold... and you're straight back out there, winking away.
Gerry: Your mother's been dead ten years, Mary.
Joe: Look, I'll not tell you again!
Mary: I'm sorry. I seem to have lost my appetite. [exits]
Joe: [to Gerry] Are you happy now?!

Erin: You dirty, dirty Brit!
James: I beg your pardon?
Erin: I know what you're up to.
James: I'm not up to anything. I should be up to something, but I can't find the person I'm supposed to be up to it with, because this place is like a fucking maze.

Gerry: What are you doing?
Sarah: Taking my change.
Gerry: Sarah, you don't get change.
Sarah: Aye, dead on, Gerry. I'm gonna give them a whole fiver. That's definitely happening.

David: Hi, do you have a playlist for tonight, then?
Jenny: I'll need the sound system set up by seven.
Erin: Is your band playing at this thing tonight?
David: Christ, no, no, I just do a wee bit of deejaying on the side, make a bit of extra cash. Wakka-wakka-cha-ching! My band, we don't really do covers, do you know what I mean? In this game, you need a wee bit of integrity.
Jenny: Now, whatever you do, don't forget the Grease mega mix.

Jenny: Queue to the right-hand side, please. One Chupa Chup per person.

Katya: James, what is going on? I wait a long time. You no longer want to do sex?
James: No, no, no, I do want to do sex. I really, really want to do sex.
Katya: Come.
Erin: [to James] You disgust me! You should be ashamed of yourself.
James: Oh, piss off, Erin!
Erin: I mean, I know you're desperate, James, but paying for it?
James: What?!
Erin: You really thought I wouldn't work it out?
James: Work what out? What the actual cock are you talking about?
Erin: I'm talking about the fact that she's a prostitute.
Katya: I am prostitute?
Erin: Oh, come off it, James. She's charging you for it, isn't she? Just admit it.
James: No. I mean, I don't think so. I mean, not that I wouldn't consider it.

Mary: Did you just wink?
Joe: No.
Mary: You did. You just winked.
Joe: Sure, winking's not in my notion, Mary. What would I have to be winking about?
Mary: I don't know, but I'll find out.

Erin: So, Katya, I've done a bit of an itinerary for your stay. You should have received a copy in my last letter.
Katya: I don't read your letters, Erin.
Erin: I'm sorry? I don't follow.
Katya: Your letters. They bore.
Erin: They're boring.
Katya: Exactly.
Erin: That's not what I...
Katya: I can smoke here, yes?
Erin: No. No, you can't. Mammy's like a bloodhound.