Rebecca: Well, I still say it's a stupid way to spend Valentine's Day.
Sam: Yeah, but that's 'cause you don't have a date.
Rebecca: Oh, yeah? I happen to have a date with two very sweet gentlemen: Ben and Jerry.

Lauren: I've had 20-20 vision all my life. Now when I go to a restaurant, I have to have someone at the next table hold the menu so I can read it. [both chuckle]
Sam: No, you know what the worst thing about old age is? It's when you get so old that the skin under your arms starts getting loose and hanging like turkey wattle.
Lauren: I thought that only happened to women.
Sam: Yeah, that's what I meant. I just, you know, I hate to see it, that's all.
Lauren: Has your doctor put you on a bran diet?
Sam: Oh, yeah, God Oh, I tell you-- Oh, thank you. Oh! Last year was the worst. You know, I went in for this stomach problem. Turned out I had a stone the size of a golf ball. Took me a month to pass it.
Lauren: Sam, has your hair started turning gray?
Sam: Hey, hey. You're getting a little personal there. Aren't you?
Lauren: Sam, look, it's getting light out. We've been talking all night.
Sam: Oh, hey, how about that? Wow! You know, that's that's a first. Kind of nice to know that we have something in common besides our bodies.
Lauren: Oh, yeah, we have the deterioration of our bodies.

Carla: Whoa! Man, those stairs are slippery. Woody, I think we could use a little salt out there.
Norm: These pretzels could use a little salt, too. My blood pressure's actually dipping.