Cliff: Oh, Sammy. Sammy, Sam, Sammy. Gee, you know, l, uh, heard about the bad news. I'm really sorry, pal. It's, uh, terrible what these guys do. You know, they, uh, just pluck your car right up off the street and take it to what's, uh, commonly known as a chop shop. Yeah, where they unceremoniously dismantle it, and after that, the felons take an acetylene torch, and, uh, just methodically cut the frame into little, tiny pieces.
Sam: Cliff, do you really think any of this helps?
Cliff: Well, it sure as heck keeps the car from being traced, Sam.

Mark Newberger: [raspy voice] Uh, hi. I'm looking for Rebecca Howe.
Carla: She's over there.
Mark Newberger: [to a woman at the bar] Rebecca? My God, Rebecca, you're beautiful! Who'd have ever thought that you would've developed into this gorgeous creature?!
Rebecca: No, Mark! Over here!
Mark Newberger: Rebecca, you haven't changed a bit! My God, look at that hair! If you had any more, I could get you listed as an endangered species! Well, come on, turn around, turn around. Let me see. Let me see. Oh, I like it. More to love.
Rebecca: Me? What about you?!
Mark Newberger: Hey, I'm bulking up for the Olympics. [Rebecca laughs] You'll never guess what. I finally gave up smoking.
Rebecca: Oh, I can tell. Your voice sounds so much better.

Rebecca: Mark, I want you to meet all my friends. All right, this is Dr. Sternin-Crane, our resident researcher. This is Cliff Clavin, our resident trivia expert. This is Norm Peterson, our... resident. Uh, this is Woody, the bartender and Carla, the waitress.
Carla: And what do you do, Rebecca?
Rebecca: [whispering] Shut up!
Carla: Thought I could trick her into telling us.

Sam: Oh, Lilith, I feel so victimized. I feel so angry. I don't know what to do.
Lilith: Well, actually, Sam, this is precisely how victim support groups got started. People who were suffering and unable to cope found they felt better if they were able to share those feelings.
Sam: Well, maybe I should try to get in one of those groups. I wonder if they have a group for people who have had high-performance automobiles stolen.
Man: You had a car stolen?
Sam: Yeah.
Man: What kind was it?
Sam: '64 Corvette.
Man: '57 Tee-Bird two weeks ago today.
Sam: Oh, man. Does it still really hurt inside?
Man: Sometimes more than others. Like, when I'm late for work, and I run out of the house and try and jump in it. Just end up in the gutter weeping.
Sam: Oh, man, I hear you, I hear you.
Man: It just isn't fair.
Sam: Oh, no kidding. You know, when bad things happen to good-looking people.

Rebecca: Oh, here's you in glee club. Captain of the debate team.
Mark Newberger: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: Oh, Mark, you... Oh, look, Water Polo Champion. Oh. Head of the prom committee. Most likely to succeed.
Woody: Are you in there, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: Well, sure I am. Here. I... I know I am.
Mark Newberger: Wait. There.
Rebecca: Oh, yes. Yes, there's my elbow on protest day.
Woody: Oh. What were you protesting?
Rebecca: Oh, I- I don't know. The war, cafeteria food, the bomb. Uh, it's just a real neat way to meet kids.

Rebecca: Look at this. 18 years old and ready to graduate and take on the world.
Woody: Wait a minute. You graduated from high school when you were 18? What, did Daddy pull some strings?

Carla: So that was the old boyfriend, huh?
Rebecca: [sighing] Yeah. Can you believe it? How could I have been so stupid? I should have seen it way back in high school.
Lilith: Well, we all have our blind spots.
Rebecca: Yeah. This one was just staring me right in the face. He is the perfect man for me. I think this is the man that I'm gonna marry! [claps]

Paul: Yeah, I'll tell you, Cliffie, uh, when it comes to photography, your ma's quite a hotshot.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, she's pretty good. Uh, you like this one, huh?
Paul: Yeah.
Cliff: That's me planting Old Glory on the lunar surface. Here's my favorite.
Norm: It's you getting hitched to Princess Di.
Cliff: Yeah, what a day that was.

Sam: You Tom's friend?
Kirby: Oh, yeah, I'm, uh, Kirby, covered hardtop, sun fire yellow, 427 high performance engine.
Sam: Oh, yeah, yeah. Hi, hi, I'm Sam, I spoke to you on the phone. '64 ragtop, black interior, rally red with, uh, knock-off hubs.
Kirby: Good to know you, man.
Sam: Yeah. This is '70 Cutlass Supreme convertible, uh, white interior with overdrive. I'm sorry, I'm not very good with names. What's your name?
Man: Sam.
Sam: Sam, right. Shall we?

Rebecca: I'm almost ready for my big date. Hey, guys. Don't wait up for me. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. [laughs]
Norm: If she was only a horse with a broken leg or something, we could shoot her.