Rebecca: Sam, if you need beer, I'll bring you the beer. Sam, this is your day to relax.
Paul: Hey, Sammy.
Rebecca: Paul! Do you want to go out with me tonight?
Paul: Just the two of us? I suppose so.
Sam: Paul, is there something you want to say?
Paul: Forget it, I just got lucky.
Sam: Rebecca, come here. Y- You're going out to dinner with Paul?
Rebecca: Yes, I am.
Sam: You know, y- You might want to think about computer dating. Ads in the personals.
Rebecca: I understand. I'll bring you the beer.

Man: Excuse me, miss. My rum and Coke here tastes an awful lot like Coke and coffee.
Carla: Oh, let me smell that. Oh... That rum smells pretty strong to me. Hey, you know when you can't smell or taste the alcohol, that's a sign that you might be having a little drinking problem.
Man: Excuse me?
Carla: I think you ought to get some help. In the meantime, how about another rum and Coke? We just put up a fresh pot.
Man: Forget it.

Woody: Oh, no, I'm sorry, Sam, uh, I got a couple of pairs. Eights and threes.
Sam: Woody, aces and tens beat eights and threes.
Woody: Oh, I'm sorry, here's one more three. Full house! [screams] [laughs] I know I'm the only one laughing, but believe me, it's really funny.
Frasier: Woody, your obnoxious, gloating behavior is not making you any friends.
Woody: Well, boo-hoo, Dr. Crane, I can buy new friends.

Frasier: No one's accusing anyone of cheating. We just have to replay the last hand. Go ahead and deal them out there, Phil. You want to hurry it up there, Phil? I got to get up early and pack for my weekend in Nantucket.
Norm: Hmm, a little pleasure trip, huh?
Frasier: No, Lilith's coming.

Rebecca: [yawns] Oh, boy. I am so glad this night is almost over. I am just wiped out.
Paul: You know, Rebecca, you've been through a lot tonight. I was thinking maybe I took advantage of you when I asked you out. Ever since my wife left me, I've been sort of desperate for female companionship, you know. I always say the wrong thing. So what it boils down to is this... If, if, if you'd rather not go out with me, I'd understand.
Rebecca: That's sweet, Paul. I'd be delighted to go out with you tonight.
Paul: Bring your toothbrush. [Rebecca groans]

Sam: Everything okay?
Rebecca: Would you quit coming in here every five seconds and asking me if everything's okay? What is it going to take before you believe that everything is just fine?
Agent #1: [enters] State Liquor Board. Nobody move, this is a raid.
Sam: What the hell's going on here?
Rebecca: I'll handle this, I'm the manager.
Agent #2: We understand you're serving liquor here without a license. Who owns this bar?
Rebecca: He does.
Sam: What the hell's going on here?
John: Mercy me. What is going on here? A raid? Say it isn't so.
Sam: Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on around here?
John: I'll tell you, Sam. A little vent told me your manager let your liquor license expire.

Sam: You believe that guy? So damned condescending.
Norm: Ah, Sammy, not so loud. He'll get angry, we won't get the ice cream.
Sam: I think I'm on to something. [chuckles] Yeah, yeah, here you go.
[Sam climbs up on a chair to talk into the vent]
Sam: [high-pitched voice] Eek, eek! Oh, there's a rat! Oh, my God, there's another big rat! [numerous running footsteps] [rumbling] [laughs] I think that was very successful!
Norm: Except you got a bunch of dust in my beer here, Sam.
Sam: Um, sorry, I'll get you another one.

Carla: Do you realize we're serving alcohol in here? I mean, they could shut us down forever.
Rebecca: I know. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm in charge. This is a crisis, that's right, but I can handle this. I will simply call the state liquor board and I... I will tell them I screwed up and I am sure they will understand.
Carla: And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?
Rebecca: Well, no one will know if we don't say anything, so you just keep your mouth shut. You are to tell no one, do you understand? No one!
Carla: Gotcha.
Rebecca: Where are you going?
Carla: To tell Sam.
Rebecca: No! If you tell Sam, he won't even let me carry the cigar box around!
Carla: I know. That's why I'm gonna tell him.

Man: Miss, I'd like a Scotch and soda, please.
Carla: We're all out of Scotch.
Man: How about a bourbon?
Carla: We're out of bourbon.
Man: What's that behind you?
Carla: I don't see anything.
Man: Right there, behind you. All those bottles.
Carla: [slams his head against the bar] I said I don't see anything!

Rebecca: Wow, what did you say to them?
Carla: Oh, I just told them that in a few minutes you're going to take off your clothes and dance on the tables in just your bra and panties.
Rebecca: Good thinking.