Sam: Well, sure, John. Heck, you should've come down and told us sooner. We'll be happy to oblige you.
John: Well, thank you, Sam. That's uncharacteristically civil of you. Oh! If you all behave yourselves for the next three hours, maybe I'll take you out for ice cream. Would you like that?
Carla: Why don't you just get lost, you sweathog.
John: Sewer rat.
Carla: Bag of bones.
John: Maggot. [exits]
Carla: Am I the only one who finds him really attractive?

Norm: Sammy, are you in?
Sam: No, I gotta make sure things run out here, you know? I can't concentrate on the game and the bar at the same time.
Rebecca: What about me? What am I here for?
Sam: Oh, right. And I have to worry about Rebecca, too.
Rebecca: You know, Sam, that really ticks me off. If you don't appreciate what I do, why don't I just quit?
Sam: Oh, come on, sweetheart, I- I appreciate everything you do around here.
Rebecca: Really?
Sam: Yeah.
Rebecca: What do I do?
Sam: Well... Now, come on, don't back me in a corner like this.

Rebecca: So, it's not worth it to have me around. I'm useless, is that it?
Sam: No, come on, honey, you are real valuable around here doing... all the things that you do, all right?
Sam: All right, fine, listen, all right, all right. If it'll make you feel better, I'll go play a little poker, all right? You can take care of things out here.
Rebecca: Okay, don't think that I can't. I mean, I am competent. I am damn competent. You know, I mean, I'm not just some lackey who carries receipts around in a cigar box all day long. I mean, I know what I'm doing. I have a business degree. And I have a lot of experience. And I am very, very, very good at doing... all the things that I do.
Carla: Like what?
Rebecca: Hey, come on, don't back me in the corner here.

Sam: Hey, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Hi, Sam.
Sam: I came for some more beers for the guys. They're going through it like it's water.
Rebecca: Well, it's not!

Woody: You know, uh, I always wanted to learn how to play that game.
Cliff: You, uh, you never played poker there, Woody?
Woody: No. Played all kinds of card games in Hanover, but never poker. I was pretty good, too. I'd win all the time.
Norm: Yeah?
Woody: Yeah, chicken in a box, one-eyed rooster, possum on a pole.
Norm: What kind of games are that?
Woody: No, no, no, that's what the winner got.

Frasier: You know, there is nothing like a good cigar. [smokes] And this is nothing like a good cigar.
Sam: Yeah, this blanket ought to keep the smoke away from the customers.
Norm: Good idea, Sammy. More for us.

John: Sam, this vent connects directly to my dining room and often, we can hear everything you say down here, so tell your mailman to go to that side of the bar if he wants to describe his fungal infections.
Norm: You know, I have to second that.

Frasier: Say, you guys got, uh, room for one more?
Cliff: Uh, well, yeah, okay, it's all right with us, but I've got to warn you, we're gonna be playing into the wee smalls. Uh, you might want to check with the old "ball and Crane."
Frasier: I don't have to ask Lilith if I can play. I'm an independent person. I can make my own decisions.
Lilith: It's all right with me, Frasier.
Frasier: I wasn't asking.
Lilith: Regardless, I still approve.
Frasier: Well, approve all you want to. I don't care. I'm gonna play poker, stay out late.
Lilith: Stay out all night if you like. You have my permission.
Frasier: Stop it.
Lilith: Very well, Frasier. Please stay home with your wife and child. We need you.
Frasier: Forget it, woman. Gotta be me! Let's party, boys.

Rebecca: Oh, Lilith, being in charge again is so invigorating. I feel great! This will really show Sam.
Lilith: Bravo. Some men still need to learn that women can take on roles traditionally held by men and perform them as well or better. We live in an era of female brain surgeons, astronauts, Supreme Court Justices.
Rebecca: And bar managers.
Lilith: Yes.

Rebecca: All right, you evil thing. What do you want?
Carla: [chortling] Let's see, what do you think would be fair?
Paul: Say, uh, Carla, we're supposed to be Rebecca's friends. Now, I could just as easily say, "Rebecca, I'm gonna tell Sam unless you sleep with me."
Rebecca: Exactly!
Paul: So, will you?
Lilith: Paul. She forgot to renew a liquor license. She didn't burn down an orphanage.