Sam: You know, and even if she does think that, I've handled lots of love-crazed babes who want to become Mrs. Sam Malone. I got dozens of ways of handling that. You know, even if they all don't work, I still have Plan Z.
Cliff: What's, uh, Plan Z there, Sam?
Sam: Never you mind. It's pretty drastic, I'll admit, but I'll use it if I have to. I- I- I don't want the same woman hanging onto me for the rest of my life. I mean, can you imagine how creepy that would be, Frasier?
[Lilith turns her head to Frasier]
Frasier: I'll answer that question another time.
[Frasier starts to read his book as Lilith continues to stare at him]

Rebecca: That's why you've been doing all this weird stuff. Because you think I came back here to marry you?
Sam: What weird stuff?
Leon: [enters] I can't keep living a lie, Sam.
Sam: No, no, no, Leon.
Leon: Sam is my lover.
Rebecca: Boy, you... You really did think I was after you. I can't believe this. You are a wussy little fraidy cat.
Sam: I'm not a wussy little fraidy cat.
Rebecca: Oh, then this is real? You and Leon are lovers. Well, why don't you give Leon a kiss then?
Sam: Because we've been together for 14 years, and we're no longer demonstrative. You know, the, uh, the spark's gone. I'm sorry, Leon. I probably should have said something sooner.

Sam: [answers phone] Yeah, Cheers. What? Hey... Uh... Rebecca! Where are you calling from? I can barely hear you.
Rebecca: 30,000 feet over Pittsburgh.
Sam: What? I thought you were just going for a drive.
Rebecca: I did. I drove to the airport. Listen, will you tell Woody that I left his car outside the United terminal. Or American. Or, it doesn't really make any difference. They all tow them to the same place anyway.
Woody: Sam, is that Miss Howe? Ask her if she has my wallet. I need my driver's license.
Sam: Actually, you don't have to worry about that right now, Wood.

Woody: Hey, Sam, does she have my wallet?
Sam: [on the phone with Rebecca] You still have Woody's wallet, don't you?
Rebecca: [on the airplane phone] Yeah, sure, how do you think I'm paying for this call? Hell, how do you think I'm paying for this flight?
Sam: Yeah, she still has it. Honey, listen to me. You can't run away from your problems like this.
Rebecca: Sam, Sam, look, the only reason I called was to say good-bye and thank you for everything. It's really meant a lot to me. Bye-bye. [hangs up]
Stewardess: Oh, miss, did you remember your credit card?
Rebecca: Oh, yeah, thanks. I'm gonna need this. I need to buy a whole new wardrobe when we land. I'm gonna be good to myself.

Sam: Hey, hey, guys! Rebecca! Hey! Rebecca's out.
Rebecca: No, no. Don't say Rebecca. Don't call me Rebecca. Rebecca doesn't live here anymore. Rebecca died two days ago.
Carla: Oh! So that's what that is. Whoof! I'm telling you, a woman should never sweat in taffeta.

Rebecca: I'm gonna go for a drive, Sam.
Sam: Oh, yes, sweetheart. That's a good idea. You know, get some fresh air. Take all the time you want.
Rebecca: Thank you.
Cliff: Where did she get those clothes?
[Woody emerges from the backroom with the wedding dress around his waist]
Woody: Hey, Sam, could you dig some clothes out of lost and found?

Sam: Shoot, shoot, shoot. Hey, guys listen to this. [recorder beeps]
Rebecca: [on machine] Sam, this is Rebecca. I got your message. Hearing your voice made me realize what I'm missing in my life, and and I was such a fool not to have seen it before. My plane lands at midnight tonight, and I'm coming straight to the bar to see you. So will you please, please wait for me? [beep] [Norm and Cliff snicker]
Sam: What am I gonna do? I mean, do you think that she's coming back here because I left that message on her machine?
Norm: Yeah.
Sam: Hey, will you be serious here for a minute? Just once I'd like to have a serious conversation in this damn bar.
Norm: Okay. Fine. Mm-hmm.
Sam: Do you really think that she's rushing back because I said I love you?
Norm: Mm, yeah.
Sam: What do you know. I'm gonna talk to somebody who knows something around here. What do you think?
Lilith: You're dead meat on a stick.
Sam: No, I'm not dead meat on a stick.

Sam: Okay, Leon, you just wait outside there and come running in when you see the lights flash.
Leon: Right. [exits]
Norm: Carla, Sammy will not tell us. What is this Plan Z?
Carla: I'll tell you everything I know for 20 bucks each.
Cliff: All right.
Carla: It's called Plan Z. When Sammy flashes the lights, this guy Leon comes in and executes it.
Norm: Okay, well, what what is Plan Z?
Carla: Beats me. I didn't know that much two minutes ago. Give me the money.
Cliff: I think it was worth it.
Norm: Oh, yeah.

Frasier: Sam, it seems to me you're going through an awful, awful lot of machinations to avoid dealing honestly and directly with Rebecca.
Sam: Well, that's me, you know, always thinking. Besides, you know, I don't think we're gonna have to use Plan Z here. I mean, what are we talking about? We're talking about Rebecca. I mean, what's the worst she can do?
Rebecca: [enters] Sam. I hope you're ready to change your life, because I am.
Sam: Ah. Can you excuse me just a second here, hon? [flashes the lights]
Rebecca: Sam, why are you flashing the lights?
Sam: Oh, you know, it's just kind of to welcome you back. You know like, three cheers, hey, Rebecca's back. Rebecca's back. [flashes the lights]

Rebecca: Sam, get over here, quit being silly. I have to ask you something really important. Will you sell me this bar?
Sam: No. What?
Rebecca: Cheers. I want to buy Cheers. Running this place was the only time I ever felt like somebody. You know, people looked up to me.
Carla: Who?
Norm: You mean you didn't come back here to marry Sam?
Rebecca: Marry Sam?! No, why would you think that? You didn't think that, did you?
Sam: Shoot, no.