Woody: Sorry, Mr. Krapence. We can't get into the office or the storeroom because Miss Howe locked herself in since she decided not to marry Mr. Colcord.
Carla: She's still in there. She's still in the gown. She won't talk to anybody. Doesn't move. Doesn't eat.
Paul: Gee, that's awful. I really wanted a martini.

Woody: These are your clothes, Mr. Clavin?
Cliff: Yeah, I guess.
Woody: Well, how'd they end up in the lost and found?
Cliff: How did they end up in there? Well, it was the '70s, [chuckles] and I was a swinger.
Woody: Uh-oh.
Cliff: I had some good times in those rags, Woody.
Norm: Cliff, we don't want to hear about it, please.
Cliff: Huh? Oh, it was great. You know, hey, the disco scene, grooving.
Norm: lxnay, Cliff.
Cliff: Yeah, it was a great decade, huh? Hot-tubbing every night. I got rolfed.
Woody: Oh. Please stop, Mr. Clavin.
Cliff: Oh, now I remember how I lost those clothes.
Woody: Oh, don't say it; don't say it.
Cliff: I was streaking!
Woody: Oh! I knew it! I knew he was gonna say it!
Cliff: Of course, I was about three pounds lighter then.

Sam: Let's give her a call here. I got her parents' number here. Let's just tell her that, you know, we're thinking about her and that we care. [dials phone] Ah, hell, it's her parents' machine. I hate these things. I never know what to say. [on the phone] Hi. This is Sam from Cheers. Uh, this message is for Rebecca. Um, hi, Rebecca. We just wanted to find out if you're okay, and tell you that we all miss you, and I love you, and I hope that...
Norm: Oh, oh, Sam.
Sam: Wh- What?
Norm: You love her?
Sam: No. No, I- I didn't say that. Hold on a second. No, I didn't say that. No, no, I said- l said we miss her and we love her.
Norm: You said we miss her and you love her.
Cliff: Yeah, but it was implied that you miss her, too.
Sam: Well, shoot. l- l- l don't want her to get the wrong impression here. [on the phone] Uh, hi, Rebecca, listen, when I said that I love you, you know I didn't mean love love. l, uh, you know, I meant more like a friend, you know, a buddy, a pal, uh, like a partner, you know. Like the two cops in David Copperfield. Okay, honey? Well, anyway, bye-bye.
Norm: Wait, no.
Sam: Wait, hold on.
Norm: That was a little cold.
Cliff: Yeah, you know, listen, she's, uh, she's feeling kind of low. You can't just kick her when she's down like that.
Sam: Yeah. [on the phone] Sweetheart, when- When I said that I love you, you know, I meant that you're a- a very important part of my life, you know, along with a lot of other people. It- It's, uh, you know, it's like my- my life is this big jigsaw puzzle, and you are a very important part. You know, like a corner piece, huh? All right. Hold on. Oh I think the guys want to say something here. Go ahead.
Guys: Sammy loves you.

Norm: What do you got, Wood?
Woody: Watch closely as I remove my own index finger.
Norm: Uh-huh.
Woody: It's something I learned from my uncle, only when I do it, it's a trick.

Carla: How am I supposed to make a drink around here? We're out of gin, vermouth, cherries and lime juice. We gotta get into that storeroom.
Woody: We can't. Sam said to substitute.
Carla: Okay. Here you go.
Paul: What the hell is this?
Carla: It's clam juice.
Paul: I wanted a martini.
Carla: I wanted to be Princess Carla of Monaco. Drink it!

Frasier: Greetings all! A pint of lager, my good publican! I'm of a Dickensian spirit today. I've just come from the Antiquarian Book Fair, where I managed to luck into a handsomely bound first edition of Charles Dickens' Tale of Two Cities.
Woody: [picks the book up] Wow! If you don't mind my asking, how much does something like this cost, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: [takes the book back] Well, uh, Woody, money isn't really the issue, but, uh, around $1,200.
Woody: [scoffs, snickers] 1,200 bucks? Got something to show you, Dr. Crane. It's called a library card.
Frasier: Thank you for the advice, Woody. Now may I have a scotch on the rocks, please?
Woody: Okeydoke! That'll be around 1,200 bucks.

Carla: Oh, Frasier, you know, it's a good thing you're here because we gotta think of some way to get that crazy lady out of the office. It's been two days.
Frasier: Well, I realize that you're concerned about Rebecca and that you all look to me as the solver of all problems personal, but, in this case, I have to throw up my hands. I mean, there's a limit to what even I can do.
Carla: And we also know how you pout when we don't ask you.
Frasier: [pouts] Well fine. Maybe I'll just go home.

Sam: Woody, come on out here. Let's take a look.
Woody: [o.s.] Hey, Sam, how long did you say these clothes have been in the lost and found?
Sam: I don't know. A while, I guess. Why? [laughter]
Norm: Is that Woody Boyd? Or is that Keith Partridge?!
Woody: When is Miss Howe getting back with my real clothes? I can't go out like this. I mean, I know it was the '70s and all, but who would dress in anything this dumb-looking?
Cliff: Those duds look familiar.
Carla: "Property of C. Clavin." Deep inside, didn't we all know that?

Frasier: Woody I think it was a great sacrifice for you to give your clothes to Rebecca. It puts me in mind of another novel by my favorite British author. You know who I mean. I'll give you a hint. Charles?
Norm: In Charge?
Frasier: Are you people really this ignorant or do you just do this to torture me?
Norm: Uh, sometimes the two go hand-in-hand.

Sam: Hey, any of you guys tried that new steak house on Commonwealth?
Norm: No.
Sam: It's the greatest. Beautiful waitresses in tiny little wench outfits.
Norm: Yeah? What did you have?
Sam: Beautiful waitress in a tiny little wench outfit. I'm going back, too.