Carla: Hey, Norm, you left these in the car.
Alan: Now, why did the stripper throw 'em at you, Norm?
Norm: Women happen to be attracted to me, Alan. Like moths to a flame. Like honey bees to a flower.
Cliff: Like flies to a road apple.

Norm: All right, we got one ticket and four guys. What are we going to do?
Coach: I got a great idea, right? I think of a number from one to ten. Who comes the closest gets to go with Sam.
Norm: Fair enough.
Coach: Okay, Normie.
Norm: Seven.
Coach: Carla.
Carla: Nine.
Coach: Cliff.
Cliff: Two.
Coach: I'll say three.
Cliff: Wait a minute. Coach, you can't say anything. You know what it is.
Coach: I know, it's six.
Norm: Why did you say three?
Coach: Three's my lucky number.

Diane: Sam, I want you to know that what you just said out there just now set my heart to pounding. Boy, one thinks one knows oneself, but all those preconceptions fly out the window when the man in your life says, "l love you."
Sam: Who said that?
Diane: You did.
Sam: Oh, hey, honey, don't worry about that. That doesn't mean anything.
Diane: It doesn't?
Sam: I've used that as a line on a 100 girls.
Diane: You've never said it to me.
Sam: Are you kidding? I wouldn't waste a line on you. Now, what I mean by that is... is... you're not the kind of girl that you use a line on. You're the kind of girl that falls for sincerity. I don't mean that either. I mean, it's just something I say. I say it to Coach all the time. I say it to anybody who gets me tickets to the Hagler fight. I just say it. That's all.

Coach: We did have a good time, didn't we?
Cliff: Well, it's all thanks to our fearless leader, who won the chugging contest, yelled crude remarks at the strippers and punched out a couple of bouncers.
Alan: Where is our leader anyway?
[Carla enters]
Coach: There she is right now.

Coach: Carla, how do you know so much about the Combat Zone?
Carla: Oh, my ex always used to take me there. He loved the theatre. You know, we were actually there for the premiere of "College Girls Totally Nude".
Coach: No, kidding?

Sam: I mean, it's terrific. Nothing against Diane, but it feels so good to get out with the guys again.
Norm: Sammy, you made a big mistake telling Diane, "l love you." You say that to a girl, they make a big deal out of it. You say it to a guy, it doesn't mean anything. Go ahead. Say it to me, for example.
Sam: Norm, I love you.
Norm: I was wrong.

Cliff: Well, time's running out there, Sammy. What are you going to tell Diane when she wants to hear the results of your thinking fest?
Sam: Boy, I don't know. I'm thinking about it a million times and I keep coming up with nothing. I don't need a week. I mean, what was I known for when I was playing ball?
Carla: Giving up tape measure home runs.
Cliff: Chasing anything in a skirt.
Norm: Drinking yourself senseless.
Sam: Coming through in the clutch.
All: Oh, yeah.
Sam: No, no, no. I need the pressure. Slugger at the plate. Bases loaded. Thousands of fans chanting, "Mayday, Mayday, Mayday". You'll see. You'll see. Tomorrow will come and I'll be there.
Cliff: Tomorrow's today. It's past midnight.
Sam: Oh, come on, you don't think she's gonna come marching in now. Do you? I mean, nobody's that crazy.
Diane: [enters] Evening, everyone. I'm back.
All: Mayday, mayday, mayday.

Diane: Oh, Sam, I couldn't wait to see you after an excruciating week of deep and torturous soul searching. But I wouldn't want to get in the way of your fun times.
Sam: No, no, come on, you're right. It's a victory party. You see, I got it.
Diane: You got what?
Sam: Our relationship. I mean, tonight, all of a sudden, it came perfectly clear and I decided to celebrate there.
Diane: Oh, Sam, that's wonderful. Well, tell me.
Sam: Oh, I can't wait to tell you. I can't wait. But I just need a couple of minutes, uh, to polish it up. It's pretty good. It's pretty good, but I need to rearrange the words a little bit. Two minutes?
Diane: Of course.
Sam: [blows a kiss at Diane] [to the group] Stall.

Diane: Sammy, a surprise.
Sam: Oh, don't tell me. The exhibit of Norwegian wood cuts is back in town. Holy moly.
Coach: What is it, Sam?
Sam: Look at this.
Coach: Holy moly.
Diane: Surely it's not that big a thing.
Sam: Are you kidding? Look.
Carla, Norm & Cliff: Holy moly.

Sam: Thank you so much. [kisses Diane] Later on, you can redeem that for a real thank you. You know what I mean? Let's go. We don't have much time.
Diane: Sam, there's one proviso with the fight tickets. You do not take me with you, or tell me about it later.
Sam: OK. I wonder who I should take. [Coach, Carla, Norm & Cliff smile at Sam] Yeah, all right, you guys. I gotta change. Figure it out amongst yourselves. I can't believe I'm going to the Hagler fight. [to Diane] I love you.