Diane: This is the way I describe our relationship. It's more than like. Beyond fondness. Verging on deep affection. There's a vital physical component, bordering on the passionate. However, it has not reached the level at which we will abandon our reservations about a complete commitment. Well, that's how I see things.
Sam: Ditto.
Diane: Ditto? You're telling me I waited a week for "ditto"?
Sam: You took my answer. [Diane goes to leave] All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No more stalling. No more stalling. I'll just tell you right here. I couldn't come up with anything. I'm sorry. I really wanted to do this. I don't understand. I'm usually so good under pressure, but I just drew a blank. Honey, I have no idea why we're together.
Diane: [sobs] Sam, neither do l.
Sam: You don't?
Diane: I don't have a clue.
Sam: Well, what about what you just said?
Diane: Oh, I read it in a book. It sounded nice, but it's not us. Is it?
Sam: I don't know. I wasn't listening.

Sam: I mean, how'd you do it? These things are impossible to get.
Diane: Well, it wasn't easy. They originally belonged to two young men in the bar, but after I finished waiting on them...
Carla: ...they were two old men.
Diane: They succumbed to my charms.
Carla: Oh. They were two blind men.

Sam: Hey, hey, hey, you're drunk.
Diane: Well, you're stupid. I'll be sober in the morning.