Sam: Hey, Norm, that was a message for you. Somebody named Ruta can't make it tonight.
Norm: Oh, no. Ruta's the girl I had coming to entertain the big boss. This can't be happening. First, I throw the worst party in history, now I got no date for the big boss.
Sam: You mean you've got to set your boss up with a woman?
Norm: Yeah, it's the party director's duty.
Sam: Why don't you ask one of the women here? Or does your boss like live things?

Norm: I need a woman!
Diane: Does anybody need anything?
Norm: Hallelujah!

Diane: Well, what would you like to drink?
H.W. Sawyer: Uh... Scotch rocks.
Diane: Uh, Barkeep [clicks fingers], a little service, please. Mr. Sawyer will have Scotch rocks. And, um... Let's see, what am I in the mood for?
Sam: How about a good beating?
Diane: Perhaps a vermouth cassis.
Sam: Fine. If you need anything else, just snap your fingers. In several places.
Diane: Well, I guess working in a bar makes you grumpy.

Carla: Norm, this band is the worst.
Norm: I don't understand it. They sounded so good over the phone.

Sam: Here you go. One for you.
H.W. Sawyer: Thank you.
Sam: One for your lady of the evening.

Diane: Do you have a problem, Mr. Malone?
Sam: Listen, I know you're a light drinker and I didn't want you to get carried away tonight and do something you might regret.
Diane: You're not at all bothered that I'm spending time with Herb?
Sam: Herb? No, no. None of my business, really. Looks a little seamy but seaminess has its place.
Diane: Well, a moment ago you were encouraging it.
Sam: A moment ago, the guy was 85 years old.
Diane: Oh, I see. An old man is fine, but one whose kidneys are still functioning is taboo.

Carla: That is a good-looking guy. Uh-oh, I felt something kick.

Diane: Well, Simon Says is my game. I'm great at that.
H.W. Sawyer: Well, maybe I can help you out. I can teach you to play in a couple of minutes.
Diane: All right.
H.W. Sawyer: Why don't you just put your left hand down, like that. Grab the end with your other hand.
Diane: I'm not in the way, am l?
H.W. Sawyer: Diane, you smell wonderful. What is it?
Diane: Thank you. Dandruff shampoo.
H.W. Sawyer: I like it.
Diane: I don't flake for hours.

Diane: Oh, Herb, wait a minute.
H.W. Sawyer: Diane, you're beautiful.
Diane: Well, you know, I don't believe in mauling on the first date.

Diane: Norman, I'm real sorry you lost your job. That's exactly what I was trying to avoid.
Norm: No, it's all right.
Sam: What was that all about? Your boss just stormed out of here.
Norm: He's not my boss any more.
Sam: What?
Norm: He was all over Diane. I had to get rough with him. I want a beer.