Coach: So he fired you, Norm?
Norm: He fired me, Coach. You know something? I may not have a job. I may not have a future. I may not have anything except this sheet on my back. But you know something? I feel terrible.
Coach: Gee, I'm sorry, Norm.
Man: Hey, did you really hit the boss?
Norm: No, I just shoved him around a bit.
Man: Hey, everybody, it's true. Norman just punched out the boss.
Norm: I just pushed him around.
Man: Way to go, Peterson. [applause]

Sam: Look, look, like I said, it's none of my business, but this guy expects you to be his for the evening. The whole evening. Know what I mean?
Diane: Sam, we are having a harmless conversation about art. You know what I think?
Sam: What?
Diane: I think you're bothered that he's so good-looking.
Sam: [scoffs] That's what you consider good-looking? The guy's got padded shoulders and I bet that's not even his real lips.
Diane: He's gorgeous and it driving you crazy.
Sam: No, it's not.
Diane: It's killing you that there's another attractive man in your bar. Another rooster in your henhouse.