Norm: The day goes so much easier for me now we've got those little Cup-a-Soups in the office, sir. If that was your idea, Mr. Sawyer, you are a genius.
H.W. Sawyer: Norm, how about I buy you a drink? Why don't you just set sail for the bar over there and have yourself a good time?
Norm: That's wonderful, sir.

Norm: I think Sawyer likes Diane. I'm on my way, big guy.
Sam: Norm, you know, you're really sickening tonight.
Norm: I know, Sam. I'm not proud of myself. But then, I never am.

Sam: Oh, hey, Diane. Do me a favor. Pour Mischa there a real quick beer.
Diane: Coming right up, Mischa. [Mischa taps his hand on the bar] There you go. Sam, what is he doing with his hand?
Sam: He's a cymbals player for the Symphony and they're in the middle of a concert. He's counting out a long rest so he'll know exactly when to get back.
Diane: Oh, fascinating. OK, that's 1.25 out of a 20. 1.50, 1.75, two, three, four, five, ten and 20. [Mischa slams his fist on the bar and storms off] Musicians are very temperamental.

Sam: So, how come you volunteered, Norm?
Norm: Chance to make points with the big boss. Last year, some nobody named Jensen threw a luau in the parking lot. It was a big hit. You know where that man is today? Leaning over my shoulder saying, "Add faster."
Diane: Norman, I don't know what you are so upset about. It sounds like a great opportunity to me.
Norm: That's what I thought. But after I volunteered, I realized I never threw a party. I killed a few.
Carla: Hey, what's the big deal, huh? You want excitement, you pay a sexy chick to jump out of a cake.
Diane: Or, if you want to save a little money, you could get Carla to do it.
[As Carla lunges forward, Diane retreats to the back of the bar]
Sam: Carla.

Norm: I did think of one icebreaker. You know, I go through this year's audits, find the biggest mistakes, Xerox them and pass them around. [laughs] We're talking monster laughs.
Carla: You're a maniac, Normie.

Norm: Hallelujah, I am saved! Yes, sir. I can see it. This is gonna make that luau look like a pig roast.
Sam: Easily. Easily.
Norm: Sammy, can I use Cheers? I'll pay you half what you think it's worth.
Sam: How can I pass that up?
Norm: I got a lot to do here. I should go home, close myself off and work out all the details.
Sam: Good luck.
Norm: Ah, I can do it in the bathroom.

Coach: Sam. These people aren't dressed in togas, are they?
Sam: No, Coach.
Coach: I thought it was supposed to be a toga party.
Sam: It is.
Coach: I must be getting my spells again. I though I had 'em licked.
Sam: No, no, no. You are right, Coach.
Coach: Sure?
Sam: Yes. These people just haven't got into the spirit of the party.
Coach: Oh, thanks, Sam.

Sam: Ah, here comes Diane. The gang in the back ready for another order?
Diane: Uh, not yet.
Sam: It's been an hour and a half. What are they doing, watching their ice melt?
Sam: Actually, Sam, things are quite peppy back there. There's one fellow who, believe or not, can recite every area code in the country. We're talking dazzling entertainment here.
Coach: Sam, can you spring me for a few minutes? I gotta see this.
Sam: Enjoy, Coach.
Coach: Listen, if this guy knows Laramie, Wyoming, I'll croak.

Norm: [humming fanfare] Let the games begin! Holy... Well, you all got the date right so I know you can read. How come you're not in a toga?
Man: I was afraid everyone else was going to chicken out and I'd look like a ridiculous fool.
Norm: Good point. Jensen, nice suit. Hello, there. [to himself] Why did I volunteer? I'm a dead man. Sammy, you got someone lying in state in the back room?
Sam: Nobody's moved for an hour and a half.

Norm: This is the worst party yet. Thanks loads for the toga idea, Diane.
Diane: Well, Norman, all you need is a little icebreaker. Let me help. Okay, everybody. How about a round of that always enjoyable game, charades? I'll start off. Um... [gestures to no response] Movie title. [continues gesturing...] Four words. First word. My. Sounds like eye. I'll give you the first one, get you going. OK, second word. What am I doing here? Eating. Doesn't this look like eating and drinking? When do we eat and drink? Dinner! My Dinner. Third word. What is this? It's little, isn't it? It's a little word. W. Begins with a W. Little word. With! My Dinner With...
Coach: My Dinner With Julius LaRosa!
Diane: That's it. [walking to the back] OK, Ogden, Utah.
Man: [o.s.] Eight zero one!