Tinker Bell: Well, I guess it's time for me to be heading back to Never Never Land.
Cliff: Uh, let me walk you back to your car?
Tinker Bell: Oh, no, no, no, that's okay. It's right outside here. But I just want to know when we're going to see each other again.
Cliff: Actually, we haven't seen each other at all yet.
Tinker Bell: Oh, I know! Let's meet tomorrow night right here on this very spot as ourselves at eight o'clock.
Cliff: Okay. And don't you be a minute late.

Cliff: Nice enough young person, Sam?
Sam: Way to go, Cliffie!
Cliff: What do you mean, "Way to go, Cliffie"?
Sam: You know, if I didn't know you, I'd say that you were pretty smooth tonight.
Cliff: Oh, Sam, I think I resent that a little bit. Well, that's okay. You probably just think you know me a lot better than you really do. No, Sam, tonight wasn't really all that unusual for me.
Sam: Come on, Cliff.
Cliff: No, no, Sam, it was commonplace, really.
Sam: Cliff.
Cliff: What?
Sam: OK, three, two, one...
Cliff: Hooray! I got a date!

Sam: I had a great time.
Diane: Me, too. I haven't had such a good time since...
Sam: That's okay. I know when you stopped having good times, Diane.
Diane: It goes without saying that I would have had a better time if I had gone with Frasier.
Sam: Me, too.
Diane: Thanks for a lovely evening. By the way, how did you like our first outing with no promise or threat of sexual encounter?
Sam: You're not out that door yet.

Cliff: All right, all right. I admit that in the past I've been a little shy around women, but, you know, I've been thinking about it and I don't think there's been any real reason for my insecurity. As a matter of fact, watch this. Sammy, lighter.
[Cliff walks over to a woman holding a cigarette]
Cliff: May l?
Woman: Thank you.
Cliff: [lights cigarette] Uh, you're very welmmnb. I mean, you're... You're welcomnbm. Ahem! You're welcambumn. You're very, extremely walaumbah. You're... you're wolabah! Wahlaha helaha. Hacah! [goes into Sam's office]
Coach: I think he's too damn smooth for his own good.

Cliff: I'm such a wimp! I'm such a wuss. I'm such a weenie! God, am I a dink!
Norm: Cliff, I know you're nervous about meeting a girl, but this one's different. You know her already. You danced with her all night long.
Cliff: I didn't dance with her, Norm. Ponce de Leon danced with her.
Norm: No, you danced with her.
Cliff: Oh, that wasn't me. I was just playing a role. Tonight I'm me, a middle-aged, tongue-tied yutz.

Norm: All right, Cliff, I want you to listen to me for a minute. There's been a lot of talk about you in this bar recently. The one who always winds up defending you is me. I don't mind. That's what best friends are for. But it's almost eight o'clock, Cliffie. And the one woman in the world weird enough for you to maybe have a shot at may be standing right outside that door. You blow this, I don't even want to look at you. [Norm turns his back on Cliff]
Cliff: Oh, stop it, will you, Norm? Knock it off. Norm? Normie? OK, I'll go out there. [Norm turns around] Thanks. I love you, big guy!
Norm: Give her a try first. If it doesn't work out, we can talk.

Sam: Come on, Cliffie, if she comes downstairs now and sees you standing there, she's going to know you've been there for six hours. I mean, that looks pretty... pretty desperate.
Cliff: So? That's the way it is, isn't it? This is what love comes to. I want to remember this, Sammy. Somebody take my picture.
Sam: Come on, Cliff. Come on. Come here. It's on me. Sit down.
Cliff: I guess you're right. No more illusions about happiness for me. I'm going to sit there and drink myself into oblivion.
Sam: No, you're not. You'll just have two problems that way.

Cliff: Oh, why did she stand me up? Ah, that does it. From now on, I'm going to let my grooming and appearance go right to hell.
Carla: And you think the results will be noticeable?
Cliff: Thank you, Carla. I want abuse piled on me tonight. Maybe I'll get it through my thick head that I'm nothing but a loser.

Coach: [answers phone] Hello, Cheers. No, there's no Ponce de Leon here. And we don't have Prince Albert in the can. Why don't you do your homework and go to bed?
Cliff: Coach, Coach, Coach. I think that might be for me. [takes the phone] Hello? Yeah. Really? No, I understand. Yeah, I understand. OK. All right. Bye. [hangs up] Isn't that something? She was afraid to meet me without her mask on. I actually made a woman nervous. That's incredible, isn't it?
Sam: So are you two going get together?
Cliff: Yeah. She's at a pay phone across the street. She said she's coming right over.
Norm: Cliffie, yeah?
Sam: Well, let's not stand here. We'll be up here.
Cliff: Come here. [Coach adjusts Cliff's tie]
Cliff: Thank you.
Carla: Now, Cliff, we don't want to have to eavesdrop. So keep your stupid remarks loud.
Cliff: Hello.
Tinker Bell: Hi.
Cliff: I'm Club Clifford. I'm Cliff Clavin.
Tinker Bell: I'm Hario Share. Sharon Hair. I mean I'm Sharon O'Hare.
[Sam turns the Juke Box on. "Moon River" plays. Sam goes up to Cliff and whispers in his ear. When there's no response from Cliff or Sharon, Sam manipulates their bodies to get them dancing together]

Frasier: Diane, that was a colleague on the phone, a Reichian analyst. He's taken ill. He wants me to take his place tomorrow at a seminar on multiple personalities at the University of Chicago, so I've got to go home and pack.
Diane: We won't be able to go to the concert.
Frasier: Well, I won't but you can still go. Listen, take along a friend. Well, Sam indicated some interest.
Diane: Sam? I think I could find more stimulating company for the concert. I wouldn't have to look any farther than the nearest Petri dish. But once again, I am startled by how far you are above petty emotion like jealousy.
Frasier: Well, I just figured it was time Sam learned to appreciate instruments without fuses. Goodbye, my tiny Alice.
Diane: Goodbye, my mad Mad Hatter.