Frasier: All right, Sam. Let's, uh... Let's examine this problem.
Sam: Uh... Okay.
Frasier: What is the difference between this experience and the thousands of times that have gone before?
Sam: All right. Well, uh... It was with Rebecca.
Frasier: You've been intimate with Rebecca before?
Sam: Yeah. No. It... It's not sex. I mean, we want to have a baby. We... What we're trying to do is, is wholesome and natural and beautiful, and it's turning me off.

Frasier: Now, Sam, what you're gonna have to do is, is keep your mind thinking of dirty things. You see what I mean. Skip everything about a baby. Forget that Rebecca's gonna be a mother. Forget that you're gonna be a father. Instead, concentrate on the heat, the passion you generate. Trick your body into thinking of this as just another tawdry one-night stand.
Sam: Come with me.
Frasier: You can do it, Sam. You have to. You owe it to men everywhere.
Sam: Yeah. All right, all right, all right. Think heat. Think heat. Think heat. Think heat, think heat. [passes by an attractive woman] Think heat, think heat. Not yet, not yet.

Carla: Hey, Woodrot. What's with the cigar party back there?
Woody: Well, the smoking section wasn't big enough, so exercising my powers as a manager, I moved everybody back into the pool room.
Carla: Yeah, well, if you'd exercise your brain, you'd realize there are no vents, and the windows are painted shut. It's like Clavin in the middle of July back there.
Cliff: Well, what do you expect? There's no vents and the windows are painted shut.

Cliff: It's nice to see Woody in charge, huh? Seems like only yesterday he, uh, couldn't find his way around the bar, and he got lost in the storeroom.
Norm: That was yesterday.

Lilith: [answers phone] Hello?
Rebecca: Lilith.
Lilith: Yeah?
Rebecca: Ha-Has Sam been there?
Lilith: Uh, he was, but he just left.
Rebecca: Did he say anything?
Lilith: Not to me. Why?
Rebecca: Can I trust you?
Lilith: Of course you can trust me. I'm a professional. If you have a problem, I'm more than equipped to help you work through it in a rational manner.
Carla: Woody, two beers.
Lilith: [covers the phone] Shut up. This is juicy.

Frasier: [on the phone] What is it, Sam?
Sam: Listen. This is not working, man. [water running] I'm thinking hot, and all she keeps doing is talking about mother and stuff.
Frasier: You must keep it hot, Sam. Trust me.
Sam: I'm trying. I'm trying.
Frasier: Sam, where are you now?
Sam: Uh, I'm in the kitchen, but don't worry. She can't hear me. I'm, uh, I'm running the water here.
Frasier: You can do that? Whenever I hear water running, it gives me the urge to go to the bathroom.
Sam: Well, thanks a lot, man.
Frasier: In fact, just hearing it now, over the phone... Lilith, would you?

Sam: All right, Rebecca, That's it. No, no more talking. Just down and dirty from here on out. [both moaning passionately]
Rebecca: Oh, Sam as long as we're down here on our knees...
Sam: Yes?
Rebecca: I think we ought to take this chance to thank God for the great gift He's about to give us.
Sam: Oh, that's it. I give up.
Rebecca: What's the matter?
Sam: How do you expect me to get in the mood when you're talking about babies and cords and God and stuff?
Rebecca: Well, I thought that's what you wanted to hear.
Sam: Well, where did you get that idea?
Rebecca: Lilith.
Sam: Lilith! You talked to Lilith about us? Oh, come on, I thought this was just supposed to be between you and me. I can't believe you shared this with somebody else. Besides, Frasier said we're supposed to act hot.

Rebecca: [moaning] Oh, baby!
Sam: Would you stop saying that!

Cliff: Woody, can you do something about that smoke?
Woody: Don't worry, Mr. Clavin, I'll take care of it. [Cliff coughs] Excuse me, sir. My name is Woody Boyd, and I'm kind of in charge here tonight. Well, my friend over there is kind of bothered by your smoke, and so I was hoping you could move to the back to the smoking section. I think that would really be the considerate thing to do.
Man: You can tell your friend this. [blows smoke in Woody's face]
Cliff: So, Woody, what did he say?
Woody: [coughs up smoke]

Sam: Yeah, it's for you. It's Lilith. Excuse me.
Rebecca: [takes the phone] Lilith?
Lilith: Yes?
Rebecca: It's not working. I've done everything you've told me to do, an-and he still has a problem.
Lilith: Sounds to me like you're still being too sexy.
Rebecca: Well, I don't know how... You know, you are so kind.