Sam: I think we have a May-December thing happening here.
Carla: Yeah. December of the following year.
Sam: I'd say he's got a major case of puppy love going here. He's following you around, asking to do errands for you, wanting rides back to the motel.
Rebecca: Oh, so what if he has a little crush on me. I think it's sweet.
Lilith: Rebecca, you know I've seen this type of behavior before. When Frasier first had a crush on me, he had difficulty expressing his feelings. He was very shy. So he expressed them in other ways. Uh, calling me at all hours, and then when I answered, hanging up. Just sitting quietly in his car, in front of my house, hour after hour. Going through my mail, and then carefully replacing the letters in my mailbox. In other words, stalking me.
Frasier: It got what I wanted, didn't l?

Rebecca: You know, you guys, there's no need to worry about this. I mean, if it gets out of hand, I know just what to do.
Russell: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to dedicate a song to a very, very lovely lady, Miss Rebecca Howe.
[sings and plays piano] I spent last night Dreaming of your eyes But your hair kept getting in the way Your lips dropped in To tell me how you'd been And when I tried to kiss them My pillow told me I missed them Your voice dropped by And sang a lullaby And it was then I knew just what to do I'd fall asleep and then I'd dream of you Again. [applause]
Woody: Oh, sure, but ask him to fix an air conditioner.

Woody: Well, Russell and Miss Howe.
Sam: Yeah.
Woody: Yeah. Never thought of it, but it could work. I mean, they could go out. They could hit it off. Maybe even get married. Hey, who knows? Maybe he could give her the baby you couldn't.
Sam: That was a choice, Woody.

Russell: Say, folks, I'm gonna be taking a short break. Woody, have you seen my snifter?
Woody: Oh, it's over there.
Norm: Sammy, you want to put a head on this, please?
[Norm scoops some notes out of the large glass, rings the notes out and hands them to Russell]
Norm: That's yours.

Rebecca: I thought he had a little crush on me.
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: It's a full-blown obsession. The man worships me. It's like he's a little bit off balance, if you know what I mean.
Carla: He worships you and you think he's a little off balance?

Twitchell: Wait, wait, there he is. There's the renegade.
Cliff: Oh, hey, Twitchell. What'd you do, tell your dad on me?
Henderson: Henderson. Postal inspector, South Branch. There have been reports of your refusal to wear the new postal uniform.
Cliff: Oh, gee, I wonder who reported me.
Twitchell: It was me, stupid. That's the only reason I'd come in here on my day off to see you knuckle under.
Cliff: Yeah, so, uh, what if I don't wear this new uniform?
Henderson: Then I will have no choice but to put you under immediate suspension.
Cliff: Eh, you wouldn't do that.
Henderson: When I'm through with you, you'll be lucky to get a job sticking flyers under windshield wipers. Now what's it gonna be?
Cliff: Oh, all right. You win this time. Hey, Paul, guard the men's room door for me, will you? I'm gonna be naked in there.
Paul: Again?

Russell: There you are, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Hello, Russell.
Russell: Where you been?
Rebecca: Hiding. I mean, doing my taxes.
Rebecca: Russell, come here. I- I think you and I need to have a little talk.
Russell: Sure. I could talk to you all night. In fact I have, in my own way.

Rebecca: Uh, Russell, have a seat.
Russell: Oh, you know, Rebecca, I hope I didn't frighten you last night with my little tribute to you on the walls.
Rebecca: Russell, you have to stop this. I'm not worthy of all this attention. I'm Rebecca. I'm nobody. I'm nothing.
Russell: I know it, that's- That's what Carla told me. And-and Cliff and-and Norm and Paul and Cousin Woody...
Rebecca: Well, anyway-
Russell: Mr. Hill upstairs and Ruben, the busboy...

Rebecca: The point Russell, you're young, attractive and sensitive and-and, you know, there's just so many women out there for you. I'm just not the one.
Russell: Boy, I've- I've heard this speech before. "Just just pipe down and put some clothes on or we'll call Amtrak security, right?" Is that it? Is that the one?
Rebecca: Yes, Russell, you pretty much said it for me.
Russell: All right, I- I won't bother you anymore. I- I guess my little songs and doodles could never have- have won the heart of a woman as- as beautiful and wonderful as you. Shoot, I'm a richer person for having known you, Rebecca. You'll always be special. [exits]
Rebecca: Phew. Glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. "I love you, Rebecca. I love you, Rebecca." Who needs it? [whimpering] I feel better.

Twitchell: Any year now, Clavin! I'm coming.
Cliff: I'm coming, for crying out loud. Hold your horses. Well, I was wrong. This thing is great.
Twitchell: Well, uh, you haven't seen the hat.
Cliff: Wow, all right. Now this is a uniform that demands respect. Yes, sir. There's gonna be one less reason to make fun of Cliff Clavin tonight.