Michael: And I thought, "Who's going to get it right the first time?" Because I don't want to give a lot of notes. And then it came to me. Who knows my father better than Warden Gentles?
Warden Stefan Gentles: Hold on one second. "The first time."
Michael: Yeah.
Warden Stefan Gentles: My grandson gave me this, but I guarantee you, give me an old Royal and a glass of Scotch, and I'll give you 250 pages where the lightning hits the tree.
Michael: That's not what we do here.
Warden Stefan Gentles: I mean, where the drop hits the pond. That's it. I apologize. I've had a few meetings today.

Rebel: My son practically kicked me out of his school the other day.
Michael: That is literally what my son did to me.
Rebel: Then I said to him, "You have no privacy from me."
Michael: That's what I should do.
Rebel: Lem's six in August. Yours?
Michael: Seven in July.
Narrator: Michael regretted the lie, so he sort of split the difference.
Michael: ...teen. 17, in July. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Narrator: And that's when Michael finally saw her name.
Michael: Oh, my God. I'm dating Ron Howard's girlfriend.
Narrator: Actually she's his daughter. But that's kind of worse, don't you think?

Narrator: Now, the story of a family whose future was abruptly canceled, and the one son who had no choice but to keep himself together. It's Michael's Arrested Development.

Narrator: Michael drove to the North American headquarters of Imagine Entertainment, the modest film, television and streaming colossus of Brian Grazer and Ron Howard, and got his first taste of how cruel Hollywood can be.
Michael: That's not very nice.
Kitty: "Ankles" means "leaves" in Variety, Michael.
Michael: Kitty Sanchez. What are you doing here?
Kitty: I work here. I'm a D girl.
Michael: No, I don't want to see them.
Kitty: I'm not going to show you my [bleep] you pig. It means "development." I'm a movie executive. I work for Ron Howard now.
Narrator: And she'd proven as loyal to him as she was to her former boss, Michael's father. But without the quote-unquote benefits. Also, Imagine provided no health benefits.
Michael: Great for you. How'd you get this job?
Kitty: Women can be movie executives, you pig. I knew people.
Michael: You're probably going to call me a pig for this, too, but are you sure that you meant to say "knew"?
Narrator: She did. The only thing at Imagine that Kitty blew was smoke up the skirt of the young woman who hired her. Michael's niece, Maeby, who was then working as a film executive.

Ron Howard: But a man who is passionate enough to beg, well, that's a character whose story we really want to see.
Michael: Really?
Ron Howard: Plus, I've been dying to figure out a way to do something about the market crash ever since my partner, Brian Grazer, was tipped off that it was three months away from happening.
Michael: What's that?
Ron Howard: But I never had a face to put on it. Until now. You. Your wife is dying. You're trying to hold your family together.
Michael: Oh, gosh, no, no, no. My wife died years before any of this.
Ron Howard: Oh, gee. I think it's a lot more fun if we see her die.
Michael: That is fun.

Michael: [on the phone] You want to know what? Frankly, I think Ron Howard just wants to get a movie for his girlfriend.
Barry: Well, it sounds like Ron Howard is casting with his [bleep].
Michael: Well, it is hard to believe, but I guess they've all got their mistresses up here in showbiz, you know.

Rebel: I was just sucking at this audition I went on. It was one of these ridiculous meet-cute clichés, where a guy and a girl just, you know, they bump into each other, and they... They fall in love. God, you're handsome.
Michael: I got maybe a lucky hair day. You're the beautiful one.
Rebel: You have beautiful eyes.
Michael: My deceased wife had red hair.
Rebel: Yep, garbage like that. And it's so unbelievable. Like, they never get each other's names.
Michael: Pretty stupid.

Narrator: But even without her name, he knew his only chance with her was to be a real producer, and that meant getting a signature from a father whose face he hadn't seen in ages.
Lucille Austero: You're making me dizzy!
Narrator: And that's when he suddenly did.
Lucille Austero: We have to keep this quiet!
Michael: Dad?
Oscar: No, no.
Michael: Hi.
Lucille Austero: [o.s.] Don't say I'm down here. Right here.
Michael: Hey. What's going on?
Oscar: I just came back to get-
Lucille Austero: [o.s.] Don't acknowledge me.
Oscar: Get some suits, you know, so I can look like the uptight, dishonest, cheating boob that I am.
Michael: Well, I never said "boob." Although you are in the wrong Lucille's apartment, so unless you're looking for a Bob Mackie original, could be some truth to the cheating part.
Oscar: Yeah, well, I was in the desert, and I've lost my sense of direction.

Michael: Hey, hey, hey. Listen. You're getting divorced. I am not one to judge. Great to see you again. The past is the past, and things have worked out, and I've met a wonderful woman named... Well, don't worry about that, but I'm a movie producer now. Unbelievable. They're making a movie out of my life. The girl I met is perfect to play my wife. And it's... I don't know. Can you believe it? And I know what you're thinking. "Can you put me in it?"
Oscar: I don't care.
Michael: Do I have what I hope I've got? Anybody who's getting in the movie needs to sign this. It's a simple signature. I think that everybody needs to see who the real George Sr. is, don't you?
Oscar: I think it would all depend on how George Sr. was portrayed.
Michael: Well, he is not the most positive character, but you sign this, and I don't see any reason why we can't make him seem very, very, uh, you know... Uh... Uh... Uh... Nice.
Oscar: Go to hell.
Michael: Huh?
Narrator: Michael was actually relieved.
Michael: You go to hell.
Narrator: He had no idea how he was going to make his father seem nice.