George Sr.: Anyway, the Brits used that picture to blackmail me. A picture like that, Michael, can end your career.
Michael: Not in every case.
George Sr.: These are dangerous people, Michael. They'll do whatever it takes to get inside this family and just bring us down.
Michael: British people?
George Sr.: Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. And their breath!

Michael: It's just across the street here. I really appreciate- Hello. I thought you said you were open 'til 8:00.
Ian: Oh, yes, GMT. Everything here is on Greenwich Mean Time.
Michael: What a curious street. Rita, I don't suppose that you're here tomorrow morning?
Rita: Oh, no, not in the morning, no. I'll be back at Slowbrooke.
Michael: Slowbrooke. The private school? Oh, you teach kids, huh?
Rita: I like to think they teach me.
Michael: Like what, how to eat crayons, throw tantrums...?
Rita: Oh, no, not when I'm there. I'm very good.
Michael: I-I didn't mean to, uh, impugn your ability, or, uh... It's turning into one of my worst good-byes. Farewell, and, uh our paths shan't cross again. As you like it.

Narrator: Michael would have walked away forever, but he was struck by something he remembered from his childhood.
Michael: You know- [groans]
Announcer: [v.o.] Ladies and gentlemen, it's the flight of the Mary Poppins.
Michael: Well, must be the Poppins.
Rita: Oh, I'm sorry. It's wrong to laugh.
Michael: No, no, no, it's good. I liked it. It's just, I was going to ask you, preschools just go half-day, right? And I'm not I'm not trying to pick you up, but is there any way that I can I can come by, pick you up, bring you here?
Rita: Yeah, I-I, um I suppose I could sneak out at nap time.
Michael: Yes? Perfect. Great. And I shall drop you off alive, hooker or no.

Narrator: Tobias, still hoping to be in Gob's trick, ventured into a costume shop he'd stumbled upon...
Coco: Oh! Look who's back.
Narrator: ...years earlier.
Coco: Are you going to buy this time, or you just curious?
Tobias: I suppose I'm, uh, buy-curious. I have a big TV opportunity.
Coco: This is where all the big TV's come.
Tobias: Uh, let's start with the Eve Arden.

Michael: Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
Gob: He doesn't know what he feels! I'm tired of being told- My God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the- the feeling that you're that you're feeling is- is what many of us call "a feeling."
Gob: But it's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's- It's like my heart is getting hard. Maybe I am ready to be a father.
George Michael: Hey, Dad? [Gob drops to the ground]
Michael: It's my son, Gob.

George Sr.: Guilty. We got to plead guilty.
Michael: What?
George Sr.: Michael, I didn't hire anyone. I-I-I swear. If someone came after you, they're for real.
Michael: Come on, you're serious?
George Sr.: I told you, these are bad guys. They do not want this information out.
Michael: He said that he was going to come after somebody stupid in our family. That could be Buster.
George Sr.: [inhales sharply] Could be Gob.
Michael: You're not guilty.
George Sr.: We have to plead guilty.
Michael: We've got to plead guilty.
George Sr.: We've got to throw ourselves on the mercy of the court.
Michael: We got to get Andy Griffith.
George Sr.: Andy Griffith in the suit.

Narrator: And back at the penthouse, Gob had been called to see his father.
George Sr.: It's a new plan, right? You put me in the trick. You make me the guy in the cage.
Gob: Okay, I just got to say I'm really blown away by this. You really want to be part of my world.
George Sr.: I do.
Gob: God, I feel like my heart is straining through my shirt.
Michael: They take the ankle monitor off when I get to court, so you make me disappear, you put Tobias in the cage. And by the time they realize that that guy is not me, I'm running through the storm drains to freedom.
Gob: Where every day it rains pennies from heaven. [a dove flies out of Gob's breast pocket] It was a... bird day...

Tobias: Gob, I know you're looking for a twin for your illusion, and there's somebody I'd like to put in a plug for. Uh, correction, make that 4,000 plugs.
Gob: Oh, God.
George Sr.: Oh, come on!
Lupe: Mr. Gay, he's bleeding! Mr. gay!
Tobias: No, no, no, no. I-I was scared too, but I realized it was of being a leading man. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth.
George Sr.: All right, listen to me, the trick has changed. We want you to play me now.
Tobias: Oh, but that would mean I'd have to shave my very tender head. I see, okay. Well, perhaps I jumped the gun on those new head shots.

Narrator: And soon, George came to, and it was time to render a plea.
George Sr.: The prosecution's got that stud from LA Law.
Harry Hamlin: I love my trailer.

Judge: In the matter the of People v. Bluth, how do you plead?
Michael: We plead not guilty.
George Sr.: Michael, what are you doing?
Michael: I'm tired of the cowardice. You're not guilty. We're going to fight this. We've got the truth on our side.
Harry Hamlin: They don't have a [bleep] prayer. Send the check to my accountant. [exits]
George Sr.: This is where Andy could have helped us.