Michael: Dad, we're going to go in there, Andy Griffith's going to whisper something, we're going to plead guilty, nice and simple.
George Sr.: You didn't hear, we lost Andy.
Michael: What? What are you talking about?
George Sr.: He didn't like his trailer.
Lindsay: He thought we were making fun of him.
Narrator: No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. I can't emphasize that enough.

Narrator: Previously on Arrested Development, Michael and his son were camping out at the family cabin before it was to be relocated.
George Michael: I'm just in the middle of a stupid girl problem, that's all.
Michael: I don't even have a girl much less a stupid one.
George Michael: No, the problem is stupid, the girl isn't stupid.
Narrator: But if they ever had a child, it would be. Because the girl was his cousin Maeby.

Lucille: He's just jealous that I have a man back in my life. And guess what else is back? [winks]
Michael: My breakfast?
Lucille: My friskiness. Mama horny, Michael.
Michael: No it's my breakfast. I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet.
Lucille: Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff.
Michael: Why do I eat breakfast before I come here?

Narrator: Michael had just been threatened by a foul-mouthed British man.
Gob: [o.s.] It's Michael. I'm not dressed.
Michael: Gob, this is Michael. [Gob opens the door] Shouldn't you be getting ready for your "Free Bird" trick?
Gob: I couldn't get the rights to "Free Bird." I'm thinking about calling it "Free"... I don't know, "Chicken."

Gob: I thought you were investigating Dad's sinister British connection.
Michael: Yeah, I tried, but but when I was leaving, one of those British guys came after me and told me to back off. Can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This might be dangerous.
Gob: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
Gob: Hiding from a child. Big difference.

Gob: Now all I have to do is find that look-alike, Michael.
Tobias: Michael... Hey!
Gob: That's a woman's wig.
Tobias: I was told it was a "Bob."

Narrator: And that when George Sr. made a desperate plea.
George Sr.: Promise me you won't send me back to prison so I can be with my dear love Lucille in the twilight of her face.
Narrator: Michael didn't send his father back to prison... But instead arranged for him to be placed under house arrest.
Lucille: George, we're never going to be out of each other's sight!
Narrator: ...which made this woman his warden.
George Sr.: Oh, dear God. Send me back to prison. You got to send me back to prison.
Michael: More touching!

Michael: Where is everybody?
Buster: How should I know, Michael? As soon as Father came back, I've been like the invisible man. Hello? Can anyone see me?
Michael: Where's your hand, anyway?
Buster: Why even bother getting dressed up? I have no one.
Michael: What? Buster, come on now, you know, if you're really lonely, maybe it's time you went out there and you got yourself a girlf- a pet.
Buster: How about a turtle?
Michael: Great.
Buster: I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. [giggles]
Michael: You certainly have a type.

Lucille: What the hell is this?!
Gob: Huh? Well, now that Dad's back, I'm going to perform one grand illusion for him before he strangles himself with his belt.
Michael: No, no, turns out, they're into that.
Gob: Oh. Well, check it. The illusion is called "Free Bird". A magical bird - me in a beak - stands on a platform. There's a puff of smoke, and then I'm gone. Then seconds later, high above in a once-empty cage who should appear?
Lucille: A guy that kind of looks like you?
Gob: No. That's not how I do the trick. Even it was, how'd the look-alike get up there?
Michael: He was hiding behind this mirror here?
Gob: No! For your information, Dad asked me to do this on the day he pleads not guilty as a spectacular protest. A protestacular. Maybe even get it on the local news.

Michael: Starting to see why you want that divorce.
Lindsay: Yeah. Well, actually, I've been thinking. Instead of spending money on a divorce which can be slow.
Michael: No.
Lindsay: Maybe I should get something faster?
Michael: Not the car. I said no to the Volvo.
Lindsay: The Lexus. The Volvo didn't have satellite radio, which is crazy. I mean, what are we? Amish?