Michael: What's all this?
George Sr.: Computer stuff from the office.
Michael: No, no. No, no, Pop. You're not doing another one of those Black Fridays, are you? Your mass firings?
[flashback:]
Narrator: Before firing his employees, however, George Sr. had been sure to clear the office of its valuables.
Man: So, when do we get to see our new, fancy office?
George Sr.: Soon as you get your new, fancy job. [closes van door] You're all fired.
Narrator: The employees never saw it coming, even though their first task was often to unload computers from a rental truck.
[present:]
George Sr.: No, it's not a Black Friday, although I did enjoy those.

Michael: If he knows that you don't want him in the coma, then why is he still in it?
Lucille: For some reason he won't tell me.
[flashback:]
Narrator: He had fallen for his day nurse.
Adelaide: Buster, you're so dear.
Narrator: She found his complete lack of personality and movement enchanting.
Adelaide: I wish you would say something. Of course, if you did, everything would be ruined 'cause you wouldn't be as pure.

Michael: I know how this looks bad, but it's just my father trying to erase all the hard drives to avoid conviction. The company is fine. This is fun, though, isn't it? They brought out all the old machines. I mean, they've seen better days, but I'm sure they're all functional, right? Like Tom here.
Man: I'm 30.
Michael: You're kidding me!

Michael: I-I'm not interested in you that way.
Tobias: What way?
Michael: Pick one.
Tobias: No. No, did you think you were the Michael I was talking about?
Michael: Wh-Wha?
Tobias: No, no. Interesting that your mind went there, though. Okay, uh, no. Uh, I'm afraid the Michael I'm talking about is all lady. She's the trainer at my gym.
Michael: The trainer you started with today?
Tobias: Indeed. Can you believe she's a body builder?
Michael: Indeed.

Tobias: What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?
Michael: You're nervous about becoming intimate with Lindsay again. You probably should not rush into things, you know? Don't call this girl Michael. Stay away from the gym. Just leave it alone.
Tobias: Wise words, Boy Michael. I'll tell you, if I wasn't so dripping and disgustingly sweaty right now, I'd hop over this desk and give you such a hug. Hey, coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Michael: Hey, hey. No, no. Ooh, look, number's up. Well, it would've been a seven.

Narrator: Hey, let's see what some of the other folks are up to. Nothing there. Or there. Oh, my. Let's get back to Michael.
Michael: Okay, because it was Joe Namath's number, Babe Ruth's number then my birthday.
Nellie: That is a great story.
Narrator: It wasn't a great story. Nellie was just a great listener. Most prostitutes are.

Narrator: Michael had just hired a woman he secretly believed to be his sister.
Michael: How did you get into this line of work?
Narrator: But of course, he'd also yet to figure out she was a prostitute.
Nellie: Well, I was buried in loan debt from business school, so I started whoring myself out.
Narrator: Not that there weren't clues.
Nellie: What do you say we go up to my room and seal the deal?
Michael: You're staying here, huh? I was actually hoping to get into your business tomorrow and it would give you a chance to meet everybody in the office, you know, because you're going to be working for the whole staff. You'd be filling, like, three openings.
Nellie: Oh. I heard there were a couple of girls like me consulting over at Enron.

Narrator: Back at the model home, George Michael was still trying to make his accidental marriage work.
George Michael: Hey, I thought tonight we could pop in an [bleep] in the old DVD player and sit and watch it maybe just the two of us, husband and wife? I'm just kidding. I mean, the State of California isn't, but... You know, that's what makes it funny.
Maeby: I'm worried you're taking this too seriously.
George Michael: I- Just the opposite. [Maeby's cell phone rings]
Maeby: What the hell is that?
George Michael: I bought you a wedding ring... tone. Opposite of serious.

Gob: [deep voice] This is what happens when you steal from Frank's stable without paying. You want to be her pimp? You got to settle up.
Michael: Pimp? You mean that she's...?
Gob: A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money...
Narrator: And that's when Michael recognized the voice.
Michael: Tricks.
Gob: Wait a minute. Don't you do it! Ain't nobody going to see what Frank look like!
Michael: Franklin is Frank?

Narrator: Michael had just discovered that his brother was the pimp for the woman he thought was his sister.
Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a prostitute.
Gob: Of course she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. Maybe we can give him a family discount.
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister that I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate. Oh, my God.