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‘Family Ties’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

Arrested Development: Family Ties

311. Family Ties

Aired February 10, 2006

Michael searches for a long-lost sister as he tries to get to the bottom of the "N. Bluth" account. Meanwhile, Tobias and Lindsay agree to have marital relations... at some point, while George Michael and Maeby fret about their own marriage.

Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Well, I'm off to the the gym to prepare for our tryst.
Michael: Tryst?
Tobias: Yes. Lindsay and I are planning a night of heterosexual intercourse.
Michael: You can just say intercourse.


Quote from Tobias

Tobias: Aw, this isn't going to happen. I just want you to be satisfied.
Lindsay: Oh, T, you're always thinking of others.
Tobias: I tried that. It didn't work either.
Lindsay: Well, you know, maybe I would be more attracted to you if you were in better shape. You know, if were just more muscular and masculine. Does that make me shallow?
Tobias: No. I was going to say the same thing to you.

Quote from Tobias

Michael: Kind of remember these being faster, you know?
Tobias: Yeah, well, we were probably all so jacked up on amyl and disco music, we didn't notice. But you know what? I'm glad about this printer lag, because I was hoping to have a jaw session with you.
Michael: Well, why don't we just say as long as that means a talk.

Quote from Lindsay

Lindsay: Yeah, well, I think it's crazy. You've given her access to everything... the banking and for what? I mean, you're basing this whole thing on the fact that she shares a name with someone you played with as a baby.
Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just, you'd go out and you'd just whore it up, Lindsay, you know? Now she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's...
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: Sentences. Why would I say...
Lindsay: Sandwiches?
Michael: That time I was going to say sandwiches.

Quote from Lindsay

Narrator: Michael Bluth believed he'd just made a shocking discovery.
Michael: I mean, that might be an older sister that we've never met.
Lindsay: Wow! Look at the beak on that bird.
Narrator: Michael found the picture in a secret room while looking for incriminating evidence against his father.

Quote from Michael

Lindsay: Well, why don't you just go to Dad and ask him who Nellie is, point-blank?
Michael: So he can just cover it up and lie? I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family.
Tobias: [to Lindsay] Oh, there's the woman I'm sexually attracted to.
Michael: Okay, but that's the last one.

Quote from Tobias

Lindsay: We're going to go for it in a month.
Tobias: Starting at the start of next month.
Lindsay: And we're going to call it a 31-day month.
Tobias: Even though this particular month has 30 days.
Lindsay: Oh, you know what? I've already prepared a list of "won'ts."
Tobias: Oh, you're not going to believe this. My list of "can'ts."

Quote from Gob

Gob: Oh, please. Pity the fool who gives me a bunch of jibber-jabber about romance. My religious girlfriend just dumped me, and for a simple little misunderstanding. I mean, if someone was always asking you to embrace the Holy Trinity, what would you think they meant?
Narrator: Gob thought it meant a three-way.
Gob: What? I thought that's what all you guys lived for. What about you? You game?

Quote from Gob

Gob: The real problem is, she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. The something of my ways. Wisdom?
Michael: It's probably wisdom. Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh... No, I don't. Not really ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.

Quote from Lucille

Lucille: Michael, what a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit. [giggles] Oh, we're so bad!
Michael: I- I actually meant Lindsay and Nellie.
Lucille: You call him that, too? It's so nice to be able to talk like this.

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