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Fakin' It

‘Fakin' It’

Season 3, Episode 10 -  Aired February 10, 2006

Ahead of the Bluth family's day in court, Michael hires a media executive to host a mock trial fronted by Judge Reinhold. Meanwhile, Gob practices his ventriloquism act, and Buster winds up in a coma.

Quote from Lucille

Buster: Am I on the list?
Michael: We all are.
Buster: But I don't know anything.
Lucille: He certainly hasn't heard anything from me.
Buster: Mother doesn't know anything either.
Lucille: I don't know anything.
Michael: Well, you both certainly act innocent.
Narrator: Buster knew a great deal for Lucille, almost nightly, got drunk and told him.
Lucille: Your father says he wants me to go all the way to Fallujah. I thought he meant the sex act that's so popular with your generation. [Buster snores] I know you're awake. Faker!


Quote from Lindsay

Lindsay: So I've got a date with the guy with the brain-dead mom. I mean, it's just a picket for them to pull the plug on our loved ones.
Michael: Giving up hope on Buster pretty quickly there, Lindsay.
Lindsay: Listen, I know Buster. I know what he wants.
Buster: Oh, I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth. Never let me die.
Lindsay: Yeah, he wants out. Anyway, you and I both know he's probably just faking.

Quote from Buster

Lindsay: I'm trying to get on with my life. And you know what? You can't deal with it.
Tobias: No, I can't Lindsay.
Lindsay: You're not interested in me.
Tobias: And you're not capable of intimacy.
Buster: [sits up and shouts] Well, just fake it! [lays back down] Coma.
Narrator: And, believe it or not, that actually got through to them.
Buster: Now will you please turn on the Cartoon Network and get the hell out of here?

Quote from Lucille

Lucille: Oh, how should I know where the money comes from. I just know where it goes. To taking care of my poor, comatose son. And if this were the real trial, I'd cry here.
Judge Reinhold: I'm saving my good stuff, too.

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Michael had received a witness list for his father's upcoming trial.
George Sr.: Who's on the list, any blabbers?
Michael: Well, they've got one guy who won't be talking. That is unless there's a hand inside of him.
Tobias: Oh, please, Michael, even then, I wouldn't say anything.
Michael: That's reassuring, but I was referring to Gob's puppet, Franklin.

Quote from Lucille

Narrator: Devotees will remember that Michael once played a lawyer in a school play.
Young Michael: [sings] You're a crook, Captain Hook Judge, won't you throw the book at the pirate
Lindsay: You know, Michael, just because you played a role doesn't make it real.
Lucille: Of course, Buster did grow up to be Captain Hook.
Buster: Not cool, Mom. [takes hook off]

Quote from George Michael

Narrator: Maeby had just run away from a fake wedding that had gotten a little too real.
George Michael: [knocks] Oh! You know about this room, too?
Maeby: Yeah, it's my dad's exercise room.
Narrator: Although for all her worldliness, Maeby was still a child in many ways.
George Michael: Um, yeah, I-I come here to think myself sometimes, you know. I mean, I always knock first. I-I always do that. I always do that anyway, no matter what room.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Hey, you guys know about this room, too, huh? I'm just looking for some evidence for my trial against Pop-Pop. For Pop-Pop.

Quote from George Michael

George Michael: So, um, what happened back there?
Maeby: I don't know, I guess I just got a little weirded out. I mean, we're cousins. It's wrong.
George Michael: Well, you know the Torah tells us that the larger wrong is to put our own feelings before the commitments we've made. You know, towards the sick, aged and gross.
Narrator: That's not in the Torah.
George Michael: And I mean, you know, we weren't there for ourselves today. We were there to bring happiness to others. And I just... I just feel now like we left a lot of old people sad there today.
Narrator: Again, not true.
George Michael: I mean, you know, I'm not saying it's not weird for me, too. I'm just saying maybe we could take those weird feelings and turn them into something positive.
Narrator: He really wanted that kiss.
Maeby: I mean, I guess it would be a good way to freak out our parents.
George Michael: Let's freak them out!

Quote from Tobias

Michael: Is there an N. Bluth in the family that we don't know about? They say there's been money found in an account under that name.
George Sr.: Of course not. The prosecution is trying to test us, see if we're going to turn against each other. They make stuff up. She doesn't exist.
Michael: Yet you refer to her as a she.
George Sr.: He, she, what's the difference?
Tobias: Oh, here, here. In the dark, it all looks the same. They're probably just taking a shot in the darkness.

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