Jacob Quote #300
Quote from Jacob in Educator of the Year
Melissa: There's a green bubble on the group chat.
Gregory: I have an iPhone, but I left the group chat after Mr. Johnson started that soup thread.
Jacob: Uh, it's me, okay? I-I got a new phone. A droid.
Janine: Wait, there's a group chat?
Jacob: Look, it's not easy being green, okay? Android discrimination is one of the last acceptable forms of hate in this country. There was a pothole on 50th Street. I tried to warn you about it.
Melissa: Yeah, well, I hit it because I couldn't read your stupid text. I just don't have time for this. [throws Jacob's phone] Go back to the blue bubble! Life is hard enough as it is. Now I got two classes worth of grades to finish and a tire to replace.
Jacob: You know what? I would like to see your phone survive that.
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Educator of the Year’ Quotes
Quote from Ava
Ava: Barbara, this came for you.
Barbara: I have to go to court?
Ava: Oh, wait. This is a cease-and-desist for me. Coleman Camping Supplies seems to think that they're the only Colemans that can sell camping supplies. I got lanterns, too.
Quote from Barbara
Ava: You didn't complete your continuing education requirements.
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: Every five years, every schoolteacher must take continuing education classes, as mandated by the school district, which means that after all these years, I must prove to them that I can still teach. It is preposterous.
Quote from Ava
Ava: [over intercom] Attention, Abbott! After school in the gym, we'll be having the Educator of the Year ceremony for the slim, the sensual, the strange Gregory Eddie. He'll receive said award from everyone's favorite neighborhood Italian, Melissa Schemmenti. Gaba gootz! Ladies free before 3:00 p.m. Sponsored by Bone Town. Oww, oww!