Mary: Oh, Dick, I can't. I've got-
Dick: Oh, please, please.
Mary: Really? Are you sure?
Dick: Of course I'm sure.
Mary: You know what? Yes! I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna go air out my sleeping bag.
Dick: Yes! Yes!
Nina: Uh, Dr. Solomon, I really hate to mention this, but didn't you-
Dick: Nina, I'll say it one last time. You cannot come!

Sally: Dick, I gotta tell you, I was kinda mad with this whole "family only" thing, but I'm starting to have fun.
Dick: Oh, good. But, uh, you know, when I say family only, I'm speaking in the larger sense of, uh, the family of man, which could include, say, uh, Mary, if you think about it.
Sally: What?
Mary: Morning, campers!

Dick: Oh, did you see that, gang? Now, that was a cast.
Tommy: I'm really impressed.
Sally: Genius.
Dick: You know, I'm just getting a little bit fed up with your negative attitude.
Sally: Well, I'm getting fed up with the lack of lunch. When are you gonna catch a fish?
Dick: I already did.
Tommy: Uh, Dick? Albright's fish ate your fish.
Dick: It's the circle of life.

Mary: I don't have him. I thought he was with you.
Tommy: He's not with us. Where is he?
Harry: Hmm. Well, we got nothing to go on except for our best guesses and this lengthy note from Dick.
Tommy: "Dear ungrateful family and sexy but vindictive lover. Since you have shunned me, I have decided to leave. You won't have Dick Solomon to kick around anymore."
Sally: He just walked out on us?
Harry: Weasel!
Sally: Where?
Harry: No. It's just an expression.

Dick: Ah, waking up alone in the forest. My lungs full of fresh air, my hair touched with dew, my body lashed to the ground with ropes, my nose full of... Wait, what was that last one? My body's lashed to the ground with ropes!

Dick: I am a High Commander, and I order you to untie me!
Beaver Scout #1: You're a High Commander?
Dick: I'm the High Commander!
Beaver Scout #2: High Commander of what?
Dick: Well, I'm between gigs at the moment. But I promise you that I am.
Beaver Scout #3: Prove it!
Beaver Scout #2: Yeah. Shoot down a helicopter.
Dick: Untie me, and I just might.
Beaver Scout #3: How?
Dick: I have an acute knowledge of thermodynamics and gyroscopic motion.

Dick: Scout masters, families, girlfriends!
All: Ew!
Dick: Yeah, it's all the same. Just a bunch of whiny voices trying to tell you what's right and wrong. Blah, blah, blah!
All: Blah, blah, blah!
Dick: Well, no more! Now, you listen only to me. The leaders you've had before were weak, gutless. They had nothing to teach you except the same old blah, blah, blah!
All: Blah, blah, blah!
Dick: Look around you, boys. I declare this our new kingdom. Here is where we will make our stand. Here, where we are truly free!
All: Blah, blah, blah!
Dick: No, I was trying to make a serious point there.
Beaver Scout #1: Oh. Sorry.
Beaver Scout #2: Yeah. We just got swept up.

Sally: So, you really played field hockey?
Mary: Yeah. See this scar? Five stitches courtesy of Laura Parker, cheap shot.
Sally: Wow. What'd you do?
Mary: Dropped my stick and opened her up like a melon.
Sally: You know what, you're pretty tough for a prissy little bookworm.

Mary: You should know, Sally, that the last thing I wanted to do was intrude on your family weekend.
Sally: Oh, that's all right. The last thing I wanted to do was have a family weekend. Want to keep looking for Dick?
Mary: If for no other reason than to kick his ass.

Beaver Scout #1: Halt!
Beaver Scout #2: This is a secured area! You are not authorized.
Mary: Oh, look at them.
Sally: Aren't they cute!
Beaver Scout #1: Oh, man!
Beaver Scout #2: You ever been with an admiral?
Tommy: Eh, hey, hey. Uh, ease up there, little fella. We're looking for a tall, disoriented-looking middle-aged guy. Have you seen him?
Beaver Scout #2: Are you talking about the king of the revolution?
Sally: Oh, god, I hope not.