Mary: Those are my lines.
Dick: They cut us out!
Mary: Judith!
Dick: That back-stabbing, scene-stealing bitch!
Mary: Well, I can understand why they cut you out. You were sabotaging the whole production. But me?
Dick: [British accent] Oh, yes. How dare they cut out the bloody Queen of England?

Sally: Oh, Harry, I'm sorry things with Nina didn't work out. Relationships are hard.
Harry: Well, maybe things didn't work out with Nina, but at least I'll always have a little part of her with me. [rattles]
Sally: You have her teeth in a jar? That's so romantic. I wonder if Don's home. [grabs a pair of pliers]

Dick: So the variable X should equal the cosign of the orbital trajectory T, which is what? Anyone? Pitman, how about you? The illustrious director in our midst.
Pitman: I don't know.
Dick: Oh, of course you do. Come on, give it a shot, mon auteur du cinema.
Pitman: Well... 4.
Dick: Yes. 4 is correct. You are brilliant. All hail pitman.

Nina: [sings] And the rockets' red glare The bombs bursting- [talks] Good morning.
Mary: Why are you so cheerful?
Nina: I don't know. [giggles] I guess it's 'cause of Harry.
Mary: Harry. Harry Solomon?!
Nina: He's so sweet and funny.
Mary: Oh, now wait a minute. You're not considering getting involved-
Nina: Oh, no.
Mary: You are.
Nina: Oh, come on.
Mary: Are you...
Nina: A little.

Dick: Mary, you'll never guess. I've just been chosen to be your costar in the promotional video.
Mary: I thought you said it was a pointless exercise in narcissism.
Dick: Well, now it has a point.

Nina: Harry, let me ask you something. Are you seeing anyone?
Harry: No. I'm completely unattached. Totally available. I'm ready, willing, and waiting.
Nina: 'Cause, you know, I'm not seeing anyone, either.
Harry: Oh, really?
Nina: And since we both like each other and we're both not seeing anyone...
Harry: Mm-hmm?
Nina: Do you see where I'm going with this, Harry?
Harry: Yes. You're saying that we'll always be friends and nothing more.
Nina: Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.
Harry: Yeah. Well, to hell with friendship. I want you, woman.
Nina: Oh, Harry.
Harry: Oh, Nina. [they kiss]

Dentist: Nina, I'm ready for you.
Nina: Oh. I have to go, Harry, but I'll be right back.
Harry: I'll be right here, Nina. No matter what happens, I will be right here. [door closes] No matter what occurs, no matter how long it takes, I'll be here. On that you can rely. [sits down on a man's lap] Well, I'm sorry, but a promise is a promise.

Boy: Hey, mister, look what I got.
Harry: Oh, thanks, kid. [chews]
Boy: You just ate my tooth.
Harry: Well, there's no graceful way out of this one.
Boy: Oh, man. Now I won't get a visit from the tooth fairy.
Harry: The tooth fairy?
Boy: You know, you put your tooth under your pillow, and then the tooth fairy gives you 5 bucks.
Harry: Wow. Are you sure?
Mother: Yes, and the tooth fairy will visit Ronnie tonight. [winks]
Harry: Are you coming on to me?