Harry: Well, let's have a toast, shall we? To [voice quavers] new... Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. Your request has been approved. Your Lieutenant and High Commander will be restored to their previous Earth bodies immediately, and a small fee will appear on your next statement. Transmission ending in 3, 2, 1... [Harry, Dick and Sally sneeze]
Sally: Dick?
Dick: Sally?
Both: We're back!
Dick: Isn't that great, Tommy?
Sally: Oh, isn't that cool, Tommy?
Tommy: [squints] Tommy? I'm not Tommy.
Dick: Oh, my god!
Tommy: Ah, I'm just screwin' with you.

Tommy: Oh, man. The High Commander and the Lieutenant are incapacitated. You know what that means? The Information Officer takes over, and that's me. I'm in charge of the mission.
Harry: Permission to speak, High Commander.
Tommy: Permission granted.
Harry: Well, we might as well just take this mission, roll it up and stick it... [voice quavers] Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. "Your request to return home for emergency maintenance has been authorized."
Tommy: Yes!
Harry: "The time-space portal will open tomorrow evening between 8:51 and 8:53 P.M. Earth time. On your journey home, we will be showing Tin Cup, starring Kevin Costner and Rene Russo."
Tommy: Well, that settles it. We're going.
Harry: "The Big Giant Head looks forward to reading your comprehensive report on the history of human civilization."
Tommy: Oh, no.

Dick: Where am I? And what's going on?
Mary: You lied so much, you passed out.
Dick: Mary, it's true. I'm the High Commander of an exploratory mission that came to Earth six years ago to study mankind.
Mary: Does your family know about this?
Dick: We're not a family. We're a unit. Tommy is the information officer. Sally is the security officer. And Harry has an enormous transmitter in his head.
Mary: Oh, that's impossible! Except for the Harry part.
Dick: Open your mind. Think about everything you don't know about me. And then think about everything you do know. Think about how every single time something happens, it's like I'm learning it for the first time... like a child. Mary, think about our entire six year relationship knowing that I'm an alien.
Mary: [smiles] [looks horrified] [looks angry] [looks sad] [smiles] You are an alien.
Dick: Yes.
Mary: Why didn't I see this before?
Dick: Because you're only human.

Mary: I think there might be something wrong with Dick. [Nina and Judith are silent] I think I might be in danger.
Judith: I think she's ready for the talk.
Nina: We've always been suspicious of Dr. Solomon. Secretive about his past, speaks many languages, pretends not to understand anything.
Mary: What are you saying? He has another identity?
Nina: Yes. I think "stupid college professor" is just a front. I think he's a stupid international terrorist.

Judith: Face facts, Mary. Dick Solomon fits the classic profile of a serial killer.
Mary: A serial killer?
Judith: Moody, high forehead, lives in an old lady's attic. Only one piece of the puzzle missing: your head in a box.