George Albright: You know, you remind me of a gal named Betty Grable, but I bet she was before your time.
Sally: Yeah, I've only been here a couple years.

George Albright: I didn't even get a chance to tell Sally about my discharge.
Mary: That's not appropriate, Dad!
George Albright: From the Air Force!

Harry: Eddie! Can I be your D.J.?
Eddie: Uh, I don't know. Do you have any experience?
Harry: Why, yes, I do! Yes. I was in charge of the Morning Drive Time Zoo crew team at WLMNOP.

Harry: Wait a second. Whoa! Whoa! What do I say?
Tommy: In 4, 3, 2...
Harry: Good morning, Rutherford. I'm Harry Solomon. It's 10:52 in the a.m. Here at WPDL. It's a sunny day, and I've got a sunny way to play. Here's one of my favorites, and I hope it's one of yours. See if you recognize this one. [gestures to Tommy] Put the tape in.
Tommy: I don't know how.
Harry: Welcome to talk radio, people.

Harry: In my opinion, if dogs were meant to be on leashes, they would have been born with them. And don't give me that tired, old argument that their tails are leashes.

Dick: Well, you certainly are spending a lot of time with that man.
Sally: Well, why not? He's great. He's not like any guy I've ever met. He's so confident. I mean, look at all the plaid he wears.
Dick: Well, I will admit he is jazzy.
Sally: Oh, yeah. He's got style, plus he smells like spices. Old spices.

Sally: Dick, I finally understand your Albright attraction. It must be their DNA. They're irresistible.
Dick: Yes, at last I'm understood!
Sally: There's something about them, a charm...
Dick: a magnetism....
Sally: a strength...
Dick: a quiet force...
Tommy: They're both a pain in the ass.

Sally: I don't know, you guys. Do you really think a guy like George would be interested in a gal like me?
Tommy: [scoffs] Sally, why would a guy in his 70s want to be with a woman in her 20s?

Sally: Mary, listen, I just want you to know now that George and I are together, and I'm not gonna try to replace your mother, Okay? And I- I just hope to become a way better mother and gradually turn you against her.
Mary: I'm not gonna call you mummy.
Sally: Sally's fine. Oh, listen, I want to take you shopping next week, get you a pretty new dress. Would you like that? [Mary closes door]

George Albright: Did I tell you she's got the hots for me? Was I right?
Mary: Stop this foolishness and go back to mother!
George Albright: No, after 45 years of pure misery, I finally think there's a plan for the universe.
Mary: Why her?
George Albright: Well, she listens to me. She finds me interesting. I'm crazy about her. And that's why I think I'm gonna give her this.
Mary: That's mother's heirloom bracelet.
George Albright: Well, Martha doesn't wear it anymore.
Mary: I've been waiting for her to die to get that!
George Albright: We all have, honey. We all have.