Dick: And this is the door. Coat rack, fireplace, files, and last but not least, my desk. Dr. Neesam?
Dr. Liam Neesam: [holding two fire extinguishers] I can't believe they just leave these out in the hall for the taking.
Dick: Oh, you're telling me. [lifts two fire extinguishers from under desk]

Dick: Could you bring Dr. Neesam and me a cup of coffee?
Nina: Oh, yes, of course. Dr. Neesam, how do you like it?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Any way you'd like to give it to me.
Nina: How about hot and in your lap? [muttering to herself] What do I look like, some kind of academic bar maid? Give it to you? I'll give it to you.

Dr. Liam Neesam: Excuse me. I'm looking for Dr. Dick Solomon.
Mary: Ah, Dr. Neesam. He should be back any minute. You're welcome to sit and wait.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Oh, thank you. Would you get me a cup of coffee?
Mary: Don't you remember? We met. I'm Dr. Mary Albright.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Ahh! Dr. Mary Albright, would you get me a cup of coffee?
Mary: I don't think Dr. Solomon would appreciate you rummaging through his desk.
Dr. Liam Neesam: I thought I sent you out for coffee.
Mary: I am Dr. Mary Albright, Ph.D., Professor of Anthropology!
Dr. Liam Neesam: You know, your cheeks turn a beautiful pink when you're yelling. It all complements the crystal blue of your eyes that comes together in your moon pie of a face.
Mary: I beg your pardon?!
Dr. Liam Neesam: You have the head of a cookie. I want to eat you!

Dick: Ah, Liam, there you are. Good. I see you two have broken the ice. What do you say we all go out tonight and get to know each other better, hmm?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Good idea.
Mary: Dick, I'm not sure about this guy. He doesn't even know me, and he chased me around the room!
Dick: He did? Well, Mary, I barely knew you the first time I chased you. It's just what you bring out in men.
Mary: Yeah?
Dick: She's in!

Tommy: Dick, Sally and Harry won't buy me a beer.
Dick: Harry, Sally, don't be so cheap!

Sally: Personality disorder? I'm gonna go kick his ass!

Sally: Don.
Don: Sally?
Sally: What are you doing here?
Don: Um, uh... I, um, we got a report about some South American gunrunners working out of the back room.
Sally: But you're not in uniform.
Don: Well, yeah. I'm undercover. That just makes my story all the more believable.

Dick: And for shorter distances, compared to a wavelength, we know that EW equals one over R-cubed and- Hello, Liam. Can I help you?
Dr. Liam Neesam: No, but I can help you. This is rather puzzling. Um, you have five unnecessary terms.
Dick: Now, now, Dr. Neesam. This is my class.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Yes, but you see, here and, uh, here brackets here, of course. Now, these terms are all equal and self-nullifying. Voila.
Dick: But that doesn't work.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Yes, it does.
Dick: No, it doesn't.
Dr. Liam Neesam: Yes, it does.
Leon: Oh, Dear god, I understand that! Yes, sweet mother! For the first time in my life, I see how something works!
Dick: Oh, shut up, Leon!

Sally: [on the phone] Now, listen to me, officer. I need to reach Don Orville. Of course you haven't seen him! He's undercover, you idiot!

Sally: I'm so glad you came, Don, or should I say, "Donnie Orvellini"?
Don: So you know.
Sally: Yes, I know. Why didn't you tell me?
Don: I didn't think you'd understand, Sally. Cops they don't sing.
Sally: I thought you were with another woman.
Don: Sally, music is my lady.
Sally: Oh, Don, I want to be with you and that lady. Sing for me.
Don: Oh. [sings] Oh My love My darlin' I've hungered For your touch A long Lonely time
Don & Sally: [sing] And time Goes by So slowly And time can do So much Are you Still mine?