Michael Scott: I think an investor's ski trip, frankly, is the best idea. It will be a bonding experience.
Ryan: I love it.
Michael Scott: I was looking at a trail map, and I was thinking that we should start on a bunny hill, because I've never actually been skiing. And then work our way up to death drop.

Ryan: Great, so we got our first offer to buy the company.
Michael Scott: You're kidding?!
Ryan: We could sell, but why think so small? We can just get a couple more people involved, really do this thing our way.
Michael Scott: You and me, baby.
Ryan: New Investors are key, though. That's actually why I came in today.
Michael Scott: Don't you work here full-time?
Ryan: [chuckles] Today, I was thinking I would sit down with a few of the people who haven't invested yet.
Michael Scott: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: Or we could do that together, if that sounds fun to you.
Michael Scott: That does sound fun to me.
Ryan: Awesome.

Angela: Hey, I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Roll in the hay, five dollars.
Angela: No, I meant...
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, our contract.
Angela: Mm-hmm.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes, why don't we meet at the usual spot. Uh... I've got a half an hour during lunch, in-between the historical reenactment of the Dunmore farm slaughters and the onion boil.
Angela: Perfect!

Ryan: For my current investors, things are going great.
Michael Scott: We already have a buyer.
Pam: Really?! Who?!
Ryan: Washington University. I don't even want to think about selling until our numbers get into the billions.
Michael Scott: At least.
Ryan: So I've decided to open up a second round of investment to friends and family.
Phyllis: Oh, God. Hold on to your wallets, ladies.

Oscar: Did you ever think of WUPHF as an emergency notification system, like, for college campuses with shooters or gas leaks?
Ryan: No, no. Oscar, it's not- It's not a digital rape whistle. WUPHF is about fun. Fun, communication, connection.
Oscar: What's your money situation?
Ryan: Well, it's tight, as with any start-up.
Oscar: Sure, how long can you sustain this without a cash infusion?
Ryan: We have nine solid days. I love these questions. Keep 'em coming.
Andy: I'm sorry, nine days until what?
Oscar: Bankruptcy?
Michael Scott: Wait, Ryan, so this could be over by the weekend?
Oscar: How long do you think a week is?

Michael Scott: Can't talk, saving the planet.
Pam: Oh, we don't recycle.
Michael Scott: We Don't? Well, why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors?
Pam: I'm sure no one asked you to do that.
Michael Scott: Eight Years.

Pam: Michael, I- I hate to say this, but you know this special bond that you've always felt with Ryan, where, like, you're best friends or you're his mentor or something?
Michael Scott: Right. Yes, yeah. Best friend/mentor.
Pam: Michael, I think that feeling only goes one way. And I think that Ryan knows that, and he's taking advantage of you.
Michael Scott: I think you are wrong.
Pam: And there are a lot of other people in this office who have money at stake. Other people you care about.
Michael Scott: You may be right. I may be crazy.
Pam: Don't.
Michael Scott: I'm just saying that I think I agree with your point.
Pam: Yeah, but in a jokey way where you're gonna start singing.
Michael Scott: I thought it might make me feel better.
Pam: Okay. Go Ahead.
Michael Scott: [singing] But it just may be a lunatic... [stops singing] No.

[As Jim listens to Jo's audio book "Take a Good Look", he re-edits the audio]
Jo: The moment Darla put the cupcake in her mouth, her daddy pulled her aside and said, "You're Too Fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat." The next time I saw David Geffen was at the buffalo club. "I love you, you gay bastard," I said. "You Gay bastard," I s- "Gay Ba-" "Gay B-"

Dwight K. Schrute: And now, by show of applause, We will crown this year's Hay King. All in favor of Purebred. [crowd applauds] Put your hands together for Mixed Bred. [crowd applauds] And let's hear it for Purebred. [crowd applauds] Mm. It appears we have a three-way tie. I have no choice but to pick the Hay King myself. I pick... Me! I am your Hay King! All Hail your Hay King!
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Did I truck 300 bales of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.

Kevin: Commission comes out to... dunh-duh-na-dah! Zero.
Jim: Mm-kay, Well, it can't be zero, Kev.
Kevin: I entered the sale, and I hit enter, and I said, "dunh-duh-na-dah!" I'm pretty sure I timesed it right.
Angela: You met your commission cap last week. So from here until the end of the fiscal year, your commission will be zero.
Jim: What are you talking about? We- We have a commission cap?
Angela: It's a new corporate policy.
Kevin: Dunh-duh-na-dah!