Darryl: Is it any particular branch of Washington University?
Ryan: The Washington University Public Health Fund.
Darryl: W.U.P.H.F.
Pam: Oh, God!
Darryl: They only want it for the initials.
Ryan: The domain name. Yeah, they do.

Michael Scott: The world sends people your way. Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. No idea where Creed came from. The point is you just have to play with the cards that you're dealt. Jim, that guy is an ace. Dwight is my king up my sleeve. Phyllis is my old maid. Oscar is my queen. That's easy. Gimme a hard one. That's what Oscar said. Toby is the instruction card you throw away. Pam's a solid seven. And yeah, you know what? Ryan is probably, like, a two. But sometimes twos can be wild. So watch out. And I am obviously the joker. So... [phone rings, computer chimes, dog barks] That's, uh...
Robotic Voice: WUPHF, from Ryan Howard. Decided to sell company. Thanks, bro. Hell of a ride
Michael Scott: Thank God.

Ryan: WUPHF T-Shirts. Who wants one? Just imagine that you're at spring break, Daytona Beach.
Michael Scott: Here we go.
Ryan: Okay, everyone's like, "Hey Dude, whats up with all the hotties in the WUPHF shirts?" Or, Uh, "Hey, what's up with that helicopter? It's Ry from WUPHF!"
Michael Scott: "It's Ryan the WUPHF guy!"
Ryan: "Yo, Ry from WUPHF!"
Michael Scott: "He's up there."
Ryan: "What's he dropping?! Wow, what's falling on us, man?!" WUPHF condoms! 50,000 condoms out of the sky!
Michael Scott: Look at that! He threw 'em on the ground!
Darryl: Look, this is a marketing campaign. You got nine days. Let's say you do get the money. What are you going to do with it?
Ryan: The first lesson of Silicon Valley, actually, is that you only think about the user, the experience. You actually don't think about the money. Ever.

Jim: Well, since I have no incentive to sell, I've cleaned my car, organized my desk, and taken a multivitamin. So... what now?

Michael Scott: Look at that. Triple your investment by January.
Andy: Anyone can just throw numbers up on a chart. What are you doing to make it happen?
Ryan: Well, earlier today, I was emailing someone by the name of John Legend.
Michael Scott: There you go.
Andy: You have his email?
Ryan: A lot of these guys are just Mac.com, @ their website, whatever. We get that guy WUPHFing, it's all over.

Darryl: [opens the door to Ryan's office, grabs him by the shirt and pulls him out] Consider it a WUPHF in person. Andy: You're doing the wrong thing. You're gonna lose Michael's investment. You're gonna lose ours.
Darryl: You got this crazy opportunity to get our money back. Tell Mike To Sell.
Andy: If you tell Michael to sell, he'll sell.
Ryan: I'm betting on myself.
Stanley: It's a bad bet.

Michael Scott: Excuse me, everyone, sex! Now that I have your attention-
Stanley: You don't have our attention.
Michael Scott: Money!
Stanley: I'm listening.
Kevin: You had me at "sex."
Michael Scott: Pervert.
Phyllis: You have all of our attention just by screaming anything.
Michael Scott: That's good to know. [screams]

Dwight K. Schrute: Uh-Oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen Up, listen up. [holds a flashlight to his face] Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.
Michael Scott: My Bad. Space heater and fan were both on high, plugged into the same outlet.

Jim: Uh, it's saying the server went down? Does Anybody know that password? 'Cause otherwise we can't do any work.
Michael Scott: Uh... try "password".
Jim: Nope.
Dwight K. Schrute: Try zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero.
Jim: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, now try zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one.
Jim: Okay, I'm not doing every number.
Pam: Wait, um, does anyone remember when it was set up?
Michael Scott: Uh... It was like eight years ago?
Pam: Lord of the Rings ... stuff? I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that were happening at the time.
Erin: Um, everyone was getting their driver's license.
Jim: Why don't we just call the I.T. Guy who set it up? What's the name of the guy in Glasses, again?
Michael Scott: Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. Guys have been: Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso. I think Lozenge was the one who installed it.
Andy: I got it, try, um--[Coughs]
Michael Scott: You know what? It made me laugh when I heard it, but Pam got really offended.
Kevin: Big Boobs.
Meredith: Drama Queen?
Angela: Nosy?
Pam: You're typing "Big Boobs"?
Jim: I'm trying everything.
Dwight K. Schrute: Try "Big Boobs" with a "Z".
Jim: That's- The password. We're in.
Dwight K. Schrute: All Right
Kevin: Wow.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes.
Michael Scott: The important thing is... this kept us secure people.

Erin: I don't wanna be a lousy snitch.
Pam: Okay.
Erin: Ryan has been using the color printer for his business a lot, and as Office Administrator you should---
Pam: Oh, it's okay.
Erin: But it's not for-
Pam: Let it go.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: Yes, I invested in WUPHF. It's actually a great idea and I can't believe it didn't exist before. And I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but hey, I married Jim. I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set.