Jim: Hey, Kelly, what's up?
Kelly: Nothing. Oh! Except- Oh, my God, Jim. Last night, Ryan and I totally, finally hooked up. It was awesome.
Jim: That's great. I'm really happy for you.
Kelly: I know, and it was so funny. 'Cause we were at this bar with his friends, and I was sitting next to him the whole night, and he wasn't making a move. So in my head I was like, "Ryan, what's taking you so long?" And then he kissed me. And I didn't know what to say.
Jim: Wow.
Kelly: So I said," Ryan, what took you so long?" I mean, I just said it to him. Can you believe that?
Jim: Wow.
Kelly: Oh, my God, Jim, is that embarrassing? I'm embarrassed.
Jim: No. Don't be.
Kelly: Oh, thank God, because I was nervous, Jim.
Jim: No.
Kelly: All right. You will not believe I was so nervous.
Jim: I bet.
Kelly: But now- Now I have a boyfriend.

Michael Scott: Everybody takes the subway in New York. It's fast. It's efficient. Gets you there on time. It's a way to- Okay, there's a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.

Michael Scott: This is the world-famous Rockefeller Center, founded, of course, by Theodore Rockefeller. This is the skating rink. And I think the Rangers practice there sometimes. And it's- That's Tina Fey. That's Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live. [clears throat] Hello. Hello. Hi. Oh, I'm I'm sorry. I thought you were- Okay. I thought that was She looked like She looked a lot like Tina Fey.
[The camera follows Conan O'Brien as he walks by.]
Hello, hello. I thought that was Tina Fey, but it wasn't. So-
[later:]
Michael Scott: Are you serious? He was here? When? When I was talking to the fake Tina Fey? Come on! Are you serious?

Michael Scott: Okay, um I think, that's either the Hudson or the East, so we're back- Should be back this way. There's a lot of pressure on me right now. It's like Michael Jordan in the NBA finals, or like Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf. And this presentation is Desert Storm. And as soon as it's over, we will not have to deal with those Iraqis anymore. Let's do it.

Delivery Guy: Phyllis Lapin?
Pam: Oh, holy God.
Delivery Guy: It's from Bob.
Kevin: Man, that thing's bigger than I am.
Delivery Guy: No, it's not.
Kevin: Oh, zip it.

Pam: You need to get something for your girlfriend?
Dwight K. Schrute: Girlfriend, yes. And the reason I didn't get anything for this particular person, who shall remain nameless, is that she's not really the kind of person you'd think would be into Valentine's Day. She's kind of-
Pam: Tightly wound?
Dwight K. Schrute: Exactly.

Jan: Nervous? No, I'm not nervous. Well, I mean, I guess I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little nervous. The new CFO is judging me on this, too. And, well, it is Michael, so... Yeah. I am very nervous.

Michael Scott: Yeah, I shot a bunch of footage around the office, edited it together on my Mac. Was thinking about entering it in some festivals. Probably won't. You know, not what this is about, but...

Dwight K. Schrute: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.

Pam: Okay. Well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means instead of what it is.
Dwight K. Schrute: You mean, like a ham?
Pam: No, not like a ham. It's about doing something, so that the person knows that you really care about her, that you remember her.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I get it. That's great. Okay, shut up. I know exactly what to do.