Jan: He finished his movie? No kidding. Wow, that's great. Yeah that's good for him.

Jim: Sorry about your friend, Scarn!
Michael Scott: The joke's on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted animal rapist.

Dwight K. Schrute: We've searched the whole building, Goldenface, where is the bomb?
Jim: Hmm?
Dwight K. Schrute: We've searched the whole building, Goldenface, where is the bomb?
Jim: Hm?
Dwight K. Schrute: We've searched the wh- Okay.
Michael Scott: He said, where is the bomb?
Jim: In the puck! [tosses the puck to Michael]
Michael Scott: Why are you telling me this?
Jim: Because I'm going to kill you. [takes out golden gun] Unless! You forgive me for murdering your wife.

Michael Scott: Hey, Goldenface.
Jim: Yeah?
Michael Scott: Go puck yourself!
Jim: [dodges the puck and shoots at Michael]
Dwight K. Schrute: Noooo! [jumps in front of Michael to take the bullet]
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: That was not scripted.

Michael Scott: More Tylenol.
Helene: [as a busty nurse] You've already had four.
Pam: [seeing her mother on screen] Oh God! [looks at Michael] So good.

Darryl: You just said the bomb... is in the puck?
Michael & Dwight: Yes.
Darryl: Is that where you hid the bomb Goldenface?
[Jim walks into the Oval Office with an accomplice]
Dwight K. Schrute: But why would you blow up the stadium? You own the stadium!
Michael Scott: For the insurance money! I knew it all along! You will never get away with this! [takes a painting of Abraham Lincoln and awkwardly smashes it on the President's head, runs out of the office as Goldenface and his associate shoot at them]

Michael Scott: [v.o. in his film] Where had I gone wrong? All I wanted was to start a family with my beautiful wife. But somewhere along the way, things got messed up.
Stanley: [as narrator] It wasn't easy for Scarn to admit that he had lost his self-confidence. And he hadn't of course, he just wasn't using it right now.

All: [as Mike enters the bar] Mike!
Michael Scott: [in a bar] Beer me Billy.
Andy: [as a bartender with a Brooklyn accent] You don't looks so good, what's got ya down?
Michael Scott: I got problems Billy. Big problems...
Andy: You got problems?! My TV don't work! I pay thirty bucks a month for the damn satellite what's-a-whosit, I can't even get the damn game! Now you tell me, what's worse than that?

Michael Scott: Don't ever change Billy. Goldenface is going to blow up the NHL All Star Game tomorrow.
Andy: I see what you mean about problems. I know what'll cheer you up. That table of bachelorettes over there bought you this drink.
Karen: Ever banged an entire bachelorette party, baby? [winks]
[aside to camera:]
Karen: Why are you singling my line out, like, a million years later?

Jim: I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. I think I was just relieved, to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back.
Kelly: Yeah, Michael, the movie is amazing!
Kevin: It's like one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life.
Ryan: You should enter it in festivals!
Kevin: Or carnivals!