Holly: Why do you have to make a movie at all?
Michael Scott: Because, if I don't have this, what do I have? I have nothing.
Holly: Really, you can't think of anything else that you might have?
Michael Scott: I have my book on business, "Somehow I Manage". I have my HBO comedy special, "Here I Go Again...". But you know what? When I think about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real to me as my movie.
Holly: I'm real.
Michael Scott: Yeah, you're a real pain in the ass. And I'm gonna go watch the movie with people who think it's great! And I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass, I'm angry, and I love you.
Holly: I love you, too.

Michael Scott: Some breakfast for me [holds a plate of bacon and eggs] and some breakfast for you. [pulls out an oil can and pours it on the circuit board on Samuel's back]
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Oh yeah, I guess I did let him be a robot.

Michael Scott: I'll get it! Man, I love being retired! [answers phone] Scarn here.
Darryl: [on phone] Michael, it's the president.
Michael Scott: Hello sir.
Darryl: I need you for another mission.
Michael Scott: Ugh... I'm in.
[back at the screening:]
Andy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Isn't the president evil?
Michael Scott: Oh yeah! [laughs] Yes, he is!
Dwight K. Schrute: No, no, he's doing it to catch the president!
Michael Scott: No, no Dwight. He's just being stupid.

Michael Scott: Clean up on aisle five.

Pam: Okay everyone, I know we're really excited to see this movie that everybody's in, but we have to remember that Michael is sensitive, so let's stay positive! And no laughing, no comments, just positive energy and we'll have a pure fun day! Okay?
Creed: Thanks, mom.

Holly: You never told me you made a movie.
Michael Scott: Mmm. It's got action, it's got heart, it's got some bosom.
Holly: It's got you.
Michael Scott: It's got a lot of me.

Michael Scott: I'm up.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's the president. He needs you for a mission.
Michael Scott: Tell him I'm retired.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's Goldenface.
Michael Scott: Goldenface? This makes it personal.

Darryl: It's your old enemy, Goldenface. He's after the NHL All Star Game. He's hidden a bomb somewhere in the stadium. Scarn, this one is personal for me. I own the stadium. I can't see it blown up. It's my retirement plan.
Dwight K. Schrute: We have to search the stadium.
Darryl: Not so fast, Goldenface has taken all the concession stand workers hostage. Scarn, will you find these hostages, and save the game?
Michael Scott: [holding a quarter] Heads I do it, tails I don't. Best out of seven. [flips the coin] Heads. Tails...Heads...Tails...Heads...Tails. Well, it looks like there's going to be a clean-up on aisle five.

Stanley: Well, the All Star Game was three days away, so naturally it was all sold out. The only way Scarn was getting in was in a uniform. There was just one problem with that, Scarn didn't know a hockey stick from a Slim Jim. So he went to meet with the famed trainer... [Michael stops the car and gets out] Cherokee Jack.
Creed: Mop the ice.
Michael Scott: I'm not here to learn how to mop, I'm here to learn how to play hockey.
Creed: Mop it.

Stanley: [as narrator] Well, Michael Scarn was quickly becoming one of the hottest hockey players in the country.
Ryan: Each year, the National Hockey League selects one civilian amateur to play in the All Star Game. It's down to the three of you. The final test is speed skating. [holds a gun to the ceiling] On your marks, get set...
Jim: Die!