Dwight K. Schrute: We have a big meeting with the chief buyer for Frames Select, Steve Nash.
Jim: He's not the Steve Nash. He's big though. He's kind of like...Scranton's Steve Nash.
Dwight K. Schrute: Will you stop trying to put it in terms you think they'll understand? It's condescending.
Jim: I'm not doing that. I'm just explaining.
Dwight K. Schrute: And who is this "the" Steve Nash?
Jim: Phoenix Sun's point guard?
Dwight K. Schrute: No.
Jim: No? Nothing?
Dwight K. Schrute: No, Mr. Jock Hipster.
Jim: Well, I'm neither of those things, so...

Dwight K. Schrute: Danny Cordray is the worst.
Jim: Well, by worst, you mean the best.
Dwight K. Schrute: The best salesman ever. He works for Osprey Paper over in Throop, steals more clients from Dunder-Mifflin than anyone.
Jim: So, the situation is the worst.
Dwight K. Schrute: Also, he slept with Pam.
Jim: No, he didn't.

Jim: Tell 'em.
Pam: Nothing happened. We went on a couple of dates. He never called me again.
Jim: What? He never called you? I thought you said it just fizzled.
Pam: That's fizzling. I mean, someone has to start the fizzle.
Jim: Yeah, I thought you started it.
Pam: No, I liked him. For a couple of days. Four years ago. You know I have a kid with you, right?
Jim: Ahhh.

Dwight K. Schrute: I'm gonna intimidate him. Okay?
Jim: Okay, great.
Dwight K. Schrute: Watch this.
Jim: I'm just gonna watch.
Dwight K. Schrute: [loudly] So anyway, she says, "That is the biggest penis I have ever seen." And I said, "I know. That's why I brought you to the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars." Well, hello Danny!

Danny: Hey, Dwight. Good to see you. Jim, hey.
Jim: [shaking hands] How are ya?
Danny: Good to see you too.
Dwight K. Schrute: What are you doing?
Danny: Oh, I'm just here for the coffee.
Dwight K. Schrute: Like hell you are.
Jim: Dwight!
Dwight K. Schrute: He's not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up!

Michael Scott: Well, I know a lot of you thought that my sales days were behind me, and to be honest, so did I... and the only reason I got out of the sales game was to be reluctantly called back in.
Pam: You don't look reluctant, Michael. You look really eager.
Michael Scott: [laughing] No, I don't have time for this. Are you kidding me?
Pam: You don't?
Michael Scott: No! Okay. [leaves] All right.

Michael Scott: On the count of three, it's showtime. Ready, one, two--
Jim: Nope, not doing that.
Dwight K. Schrute: I've been in showtime mode since breakfast.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know-all right, just forget it then.
Jim: Showtime!
Michael Scott: It's showtime! Oh...never mind. Let's go.

Darryl and Andy: [singing] Please Mr. President, if you wanna give hope a whirl, bring our troops home safe and sound, says this little girl.
Andy: [in falsetto] Please Mr. President-
Darryl: One second, one second, one second. [stops playing] So, this song is from the point of view of a little girl?
Andy: Yeah.
Darryl: But you're singing it.
Andy: Yeah, but I'm using my falsetto.
Darryl: No, that's not a good idea. I don't see that as a very good song.
Andy: Yeah, well, it'd sound a lot better if you actually sang with some soul.
Darryl: Oh, I never sing with soul.
Andy: That's a lie.

Meredith: You're here to sell me some paper.
Danny: Well, actually, uh... no, Miss Van Helsing, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to meet you, see if we'd be a, you know, good fit.
Meredith: What do you mean?
Michael Scott: [watching] Oh, my god! He's making her sell to him.

Jim: You're an exec at Pennsylvania Solartech and-
Oscar: That sounds fake.
Jim: What do you mean?
Dwight K. Schrute: I told you! You're an exec at Stark Industries, a corporation you inherited from your father-
Jim: Will you stop? Stop it, stop it. Here's the story-they need Meredith somewhere else asap, okay?
Oscar: Okay.
Jim: So you're taking over. You just gotta get her out of there as soon as you can.
Oscar: All right. I can do that. Then what?
Dwight K. Schrute: Then make him pitch to you.
Jim: Yes.
Dwight K. Schrute: We gotta see what he's got.
Jim: Exactly. You can do this.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, and remember-you're not gay.
Jim: Stop it! It's gonna be great.
Oscar: Okay.
Jim: And listen if anything else happens, just...roll with it.