Holly: Michael, I can't keep getting into a situation where I date whoever I'm working with. Well, you can understand that.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I understand. I just don't agree.
Holly: Well you don't have to agree.
Michael Scott: Yes, I do.
Holly: No, you don't.
Michael Scott: Yes, I do.
Holly: No, you can have your own opinion.
Michael Scott: I have my own opinion and my opinion is to disagree with you.

Jim: Cheer up. We made a sale.
Michael Scott: Just drive faster. I want to get back.
Jim: Well, I'm going the speed limit. So...
Michael Scott: Okay, fine. My feelings don't matter to you. What matters to you is your precious speed limit.
Jim: Someone's in a bad mood.
Michael Scott: No, I'm not. I'm not in a bad mood. I'm not, Jim. Hello? Okay, fine, ignore me. Have it your way. Let's just talk about you, as always. Is sex different after the baby, Jim?
Jim: Alright, let me turn on some music.
Michael Scott: I need to pee.
Jim: No, you don't.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I do. My word against yours.
Jim: Alright. Well we'll be there in ten minutes.
Michael Scott: What part of "I need to pee" do you not understand? I'm upset. My bladder is full. There is no telling what I might do, right now, all over the inside of your precious little car.

Jim: [on the phone] So here's the thing though. I left Michael at the gas station on Benet.
Pam: Understood.
Jim: And his wallet and phone are on the seat next to me.
Pam: Got it. I will put out a A.P.B. Otherwise known as a "Ask Pam Beasley". ... Did the phone cut off?
Jim: Nope.
Pam: Alright, just call me after the doctor.

Michael Scott: I know, I know you have a phone policy. I understand. But this is an emergency because my friend isn't here and I am worried that he has been abducted.
Attendant: No, he ditched you man. I saw him drive away.
Michael Scott: There is no way he ditched me. There is no way that happened. He's my... Okay. May I please just use your phone? Please!
Attendant: Just make it quick.
Michael Scott: Okay. I will make it quick. I will make it very quick. [opens phone] And you don't have my numbers on speed dial. Ah, okay. What is it?
Attendant: You don't know it.
Michael Scott: You know what, I can dial 411, get Jim's number.
Attendant: He left you here on purpose. Alright? I saw it. He just drove away.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Actually this is good. I am going to take this opportunity to go walk-about. Good. Good. [to cameras] Nope, get away. No, that's enough. Okay.

Pam: [on the phone] Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Dwight K. Schrute: Has Michael checked in?
Pam: Oh, hey Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: I asked you a question.
Pam: No, he hasn't.
Dwight K. Schrute: Goodbye.
Pam: No, wait. Hey, while you are out, could pick up some paper towels and chocolate syrup? We have ice cream so I thought...
Dwight K. Schrute: Pam, this isn't a shopping trip.
Erin: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: This is a man-hunt slash rescue mission.
Pam: Okay. I, just, when you are done or any time it's convent, I just thought since you are out...
Dwight K. Schrute: Pam, I'm obviously going to get that stuff for you so just shut up.
Pam: Okay, well it wasn't obvious.. [phone hangs up]

Michael Scott: Hello. I would like a hot dog please. Now, I don't have any money so here is what I would like to do. I leave you here with my watch, and I come back later and I pay for the hot dog.
Hot Dog Guy: I'm not a pawn shop.
Michael Scott: Well, I understand that but this is a $45 watch.
Hot Dog Guy: Wow.
Michael Scott: With that I could buy... half the menu.
Hot Dog Guy: I can't just go giving away hot dogs.
Michael Scott: Alright. What do you do with the hog dogs that you don't sell?
Hot Dog Guy: Throw 'em away.
Michael Scott: Well, okay, instead of throwing them all away later, why don't you just throw one away now into my mouth?
Hot Dog Guy: No.
Michael Scott: Okay. You've just lost my business.

Dwight K. Schrute: Hey.
Erin: Hey, you were in there forever.
Dwight K. Schrute: There's too many brands.

Dwight K. Schrute: Excuse me. Do you speak English? We are looking for a man. Michael, this tall, black hair, Caucasian...
Erin: [point to picture on a wall of thieves] It's Michael!
Waiter: He just left.
Erin: You knew.
Holly: What? No. Dwight asked if I wanted an egg roll. What... what are you implying?
Dwight K. Schrute: Uncanny. Put a pin in that. [to waiter] Which way did he go? That guy! When he leave here, which way did he go? We looking for him. [pointing] This way, this way, this way? I don't know. Do you know?
Waiter: I think he was heading downtown.
Dwight K. Schrute: He's heading downtown.

[As everyone closes their instant messenger program so Gabe can't see:]
Stanley: [whispers] Click the "x".
Phyllis: [whispers] I'm clicking!
Stanley: In the box.
Phyllis: I am clicking.
Stanley: Woman, you've had a computer for years!

Kevin: Yes, well done!
Oscar: Who's is it? Who wrote that?
Phyllis: Yeah, who wrote it?
[Angela has a wry smile, later to camera:]
Angela: Please. It was easy once I decided I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe.