‘The List’
Season 8, Episode 1 - Aired September 22, 2011
As Andy settles into his role as regional manager, Robert California, the new CEO of Dunder Mifflin, divides the office with a list he made.
Quote from Pam
Jim: You watching that commercial again? [Pam nods] Why do you keep watching it, if you know it's just gonna make you cry?
Pam: Because everything makes me cry, so what's the difference? This dog, he just wants to protect his bone.
Jim: He's got a bank vault. That's a start.
Pam: Not enough though.
Quote from Andy
Andy: The Friday before Columbus Day, thoughts?
Robert: What are your thoughts?
Andy: Just making chit-chat. Kind of a medium year for women's soccer, no?
Quote from Kevin
Kevin: We need a warning signal.
Jim: We don't need a warning signal, Kevin. We can see him right there-
Kevin: We do.
Jim: I promise you, we don't need a warning-
Kevin: Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
Phyllis: Ah! [falls out of her chair]
Dwight K. Schrute: Phyllis! Phyllis! You okay? You okay?
Phyllis: [groans] Yeah. Yeah. Oh.
Quote from Jim
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, which side of the list am I on?
Jim: Left.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes!
Jim: Why are you- How do you know?
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Andy: I gotta say. Kinda seems like the left side's the side to be on. Me, Jim, Dwight, Darryl. No offense Pam.
Jim: I don't think it's-
Pam: ‘Scuse me?
Dwight K. Schrute: Shhh, Pam. C'mon, don't be such a right-sider.
Quote from Phyllis
Angela: Did you guys figure it out?
Andy: We couldn't crack it.
Stanley: Go in there and just ask the man what it means.
Andy: He'll know that we looked at his private notebook.
Phyllis: Come on, just say you saw the list by accident.
Andy: I'm already working on this Columbus Day thing for you guys and it's starting to stack up. Feels like a lot. One thing at a time.
Phyllis: Yeah, that's all you had to do today was ask about Columbus Day?
Quote from Kevin
Kevin: I know! It's alphabetical.
All: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, it's not.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Here's how we find out. Let's line up and compare the lines, see if we learn anything. Okay, left-siders over here. Right-siders, line up over here. Face each other. Match it by height and relative weight. Let's just size each other up here, and left side of the list... ATTACK!
Quote from Robert
Robert: I'd like to invite the following people to join me for lunch: Jim, Dwight, Angela, Darryl, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, Oscar.
Quote from Jim
Jim: Alright, well, I will see you in a bit.
Pam: I love you so much. [starting to cry]
Jim: Hey. It's nothing. Alright? I'll text you when we get there. Let you know what's going on.
Pam: Okay. [turns to computer]
Jim: Nope. No dog video.