Jim: Dwight, is now a good time to go over what you expect of us?
Dwight K. Schrute: [long pause] Yes. What are my expectations for the group?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: I have been given the responsibility to manage Stanley, a solid player; Ryan, who is capable of surprises; Erin, an excellent follower; and Kathy, a probably not totally useless enigma. And, well, Jim. Under the right manager, that's not a bad team. Perfectinschlag.

Dwight K. Schrute: I already picked my team: Darryl, Oscar, Angela, Phyllis and Toby and that is the team that I am taking. What's that? It's not up to me? I only have influence? Well, that's all Baltzer Glattfielder had and now no one eats owls for Thanksgiving.

Jim: I just got a text from Robert California that says "bring your clubs to Florida".
Pam: Why? Does he think you're going to Florida?
Jim: I hope not. [laughs] Because I am not going. Two question marks?
Pam: No, just do one. Two question marks is kind of aggressive. You know it's like Wha-what?? Just do one.

Pam: So you guys, you know what's an even more useful treat... is cash. So-
Jim: Nope. It's over.
Pam: ...we wanted to say thank you-
Jim: Nope. OK.

Andy: Dwight, I have exciting news for you.
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Andy: I think you're going to like it.
Dwight K. Schrute: You can't tantalize me.

Erin: And here's the fax for you.
Andy: And here's some facts for you. Did you know frogs can hear with their lungs? And that flamingos can have orgasms that last 30 minutes.
Erin: Ah! Love to learn.
Andy: Yeah, it's weird that I said that last one.

Darryl: Val knit me a beanie. But I can't tell if it's a "We're just friends" beanie or a "I'm hot, you're hot, let's get it poppin'" beanie. So I'm gonna up the ante, give her a clearly romantic gift, and we'll get to the meaning of the beanie.

Dwight K. Schrute: Pam, pack up your post-natal swimwear, make it a one piece or this offer is rescinded, and join me on a fantastic barbecue one week from today in Tallahassee, Florida where I'm going to be living for the next three weeks.
Pam: Really?
Dwight K. Schrute: Mm hm.
Pam: I'll fly anywhere for some good barbecue.
Jim: Ooh, me three.
Dwight K. Schrute: Eh! No plus one's. This is for competent workers only. And don't worry about the cost, Sabre is footing the bill.

Nate: [reading card] "I'm glad you're in my life. Happy Valentine's Day." Ugh, Darryl. I am glad to be in your life too. Oh, your card is more beautiful than the gloves.

Pam: Well, let's hear it.
Jim: "Robert, Hey" Exclamation point.
Pam: I like it so far.
Jim: "Got your text, awesome idea. Let's hit the links next time you're in PA" Dash JH.
Pam: It's perfect. You emphasized the golf, completely omit the Florida.
Jim: Yeah, it's a golf text.
Pam: Total golf text. Send it.
Jim: Duh- Wait. I just feel weird. I should just call him.
Kelly: You wanna call someone? That texted you!? Do you wanna drive them away? I mean, ugh.