Dwight K. Schrute: Listen up, kid. I don't like you, but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights.

Dwight K. Schrute: It appears that the website has become alive. This happens to computers and robots sometimes. Am I scared of a stupid computer? Please! The computer should be scared of me. I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. You heard me right. I did so well last February that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise.

Jim: Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, just before you walked me over to my desk?
Pam: Yeah. "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk-mate Dwight."
Jim: And that's when I knew. You?
Pam: You came up to my desk and you said, "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired."
Jim: That was the moment that you knew you liked me?
Pam: Yep.
Jim: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Pam: Nope.

Jim: How's it going?
Dwight K. Schrute: Fine. Good.
Jim: Yeah?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah.
Jim: You look a little worried.
Dwight K. Schrute: I do not look worried.
[Dwight receives an I.M. from DunMiff/sys reading "You do look worried.". Dwight composes a message in response.]
Pam: [reading] "Here's a suggestion, computer. I assume you read binary. So why don't you 011-11-011-011?"
Jim: [telling Pam what to type] Um, while you were typing that, I searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin. Oh, and sold more paper.

Andy: [answering phone] Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. [answering a second phone] Hello? Hang on.
[singing to Angela, guys on phone join in] If you change your mind I'll be first in line Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me If you need me let me know Gonna be around If you got no place to go If you're feeling down If you're all alone When the pretty birds have flown Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me Gonna do my very best And that ain't no lie If you put me to the test If you let me try Take a chance on me. That's all I ask of you, Angela. Take a chance on me.

Jim: You need to let him go.
Michael Scott: Let go of little jerk boy? Before he has learned his lesson?
Jim: Yes.
Michael Scott: You know what, Jim? World would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions.
Jim: Yes, but not by kidnapping them.
Michael Scott: I'm not kidnapping him. I'm keeping him until I get what I want.
Jim: As a hostage.
Michael Scott: I think you're overthinking it.
Jim: I think you're under-thinking it.

[Ryan is interview with his feet up on a desk in a large, corner office]
Ryan: Yeah, I created a website. Look. At the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company. And I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest.
Thomas Dean: [o.s.] I told you I don't want you doing these things. You can use your own office or do it in the hall.
[Ryan continues in a smaller office:]
Ryan: Convergence, viral marketing. We're going guerrilla. We're taking it to the streets while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. In other words, it is what it is. Buying paper just became fun.

Dwight K. Schrute: I've seen this kid before. He's one of the kids who sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp.
[aside to camera:]
Pizza guy: Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed.

Michael Scott: [on the phone] Yes, is Alfredo there? May I speak to manager then? Okay, could you tell the manager that I am keeping his delivery kid until I get my discount on the eight pizzas I ordered? Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. Also, I would like him to throw in two- three pizzas, um, just for our-
Jim: Ransom.
Michael Scott: Trouble. Okay. All right.
Jim: What'd he say?
Michael Scott: He said no.
Jim: So we should let him go.
Michael Scott: No, no.

Kevin: What's going on?
Jim: Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands.
Michael Scott: Mr. Overdramatic. What's up, Kev?
Kevin: We're getting hungry out there. We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's pizza cafe while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end.