Pam: New York, as it turns out, is very expensive. And I ran out of money. I thought about selling a kidney, but Michael offered to get me a part-time job at corporate. Of course, now Michael knows where to reach me 16 to 18 hours a week.

Pam: [on phone] Hey, Michael.
Michael Scott: Pamela! Miss you, kiddo. Miss you so much.

Andy: That's for you. And I am right in assuming that Dwight is short for D-Money. Cause that's what I wrote on your Save-The-Date.
Dwight K. Schrute: You set a date?
Andy: J-Money. Or should it be T-Money, for Tuna? Receptionist-Money. K-Money.

Holly: [o.s.] I didn't forget my keys. I just didn't want to make out with you in front of the cameras. Do you think they can hear us?
Michael Scott: Not if we turn these dials all the way down. Now they can't hear us at all.
Holly: Oh, good.
Michael Scott: We're totally alone.

Angela: I never felt safe here.
Andy: You're always safe with me. I'm a very good screamer. And one day, we're gonna move to Disney's Celebration Village in Florida and leave all of this behind.
Angela: I would very much like that.
Andy: [singing in a Cockney accent] Consider yourself at 'ome.

Dwight K. Schrute: Get in.
Phyllis: Where are we going?
Dwight K. Schrute: I know she loves me, Phyllis. I am sure of it. She practically told me so.
Phyllis: Then you need to give her an ultimatum. Tell her she needs to make a choice. You or Andy. If she picks you, great. If not, you can move on.
Dwight K. Schrute: Are you sure that's gonna work?
Phyllis: It did when Bob said I had to stop talking to my sister on the phone so much. Wait, this isn't our floor... [elevator doors close] Dwight?

Phyllis: I think it's a fun idea.
Michael Scott: Thank you.
Phyllis: We could auction off things that we do for each other, like cleaning or tennis lessons. My sorority did it all the time.
Michael Scott: Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right here. Was this a sorority that you didn't get into a real sorority so you had to kind of form your own?
Phyllis: Move on, Michael.

Dwight K. Schrute: Listen to me close cause I'm only gonna say this once. You either break off your engagement with that singing buffoon, apologize, and then date me. Or you can say goodbye to this.
Angela: I think you have me confused with another person.
Dwight K. Schrute: I said I was only gonna say it once. You have until 6:14 P.M. 6:14.
Angela: I heard you.

Michael Scott: Okay, this is the moment that you have all been waiting for. Our first item up for bids tonight is something that I consider to be very boss indeed. It is a Yoga lesson from Holly Flax! Yoga! And I would like to start the bidding off at 300 dollars. [auctioneer voice] 300 dollars do I hear 300 dollars? 300 dollars. Hey, batter batter batter, hey batter, swing batter, 300 dollars, 300 dollars, 300 dollars. Anybody, 300 dollars. 400 dollars. Who wants for 400-[unintelligible] Do I see somebody in the back? Is there somebody in the back? Do I see somebody in the back? 400-450 [speaking gibberish] Sold! For 300 dollars to me! [bangs gavel, which squeaks] What the hell is that?
Phyllis: That's the only gavel I could find.
Michael Scott: It squeaks when you bang it. That's what she said. Let's hear it for me, right? A bargain at any price.

Darryl: Mike, do my thing.
Michael Scott: Yes, great. Very good. So, Darryl and the boys in the hood in the warehouse have graciously donated to go out for a beer with them right now.
Michael Scott: You know what? I'm actually going to bid on this. I'm gonna start the bidding because this is something that I've dreamt of.
Darryl: Mike, you can't do this. It's conflict of interest.
Jim: $5.
Darryl: Sold to Jim!
Michael Scott: Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys.