Dwight K. Schrute Quote #738

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Counseling

Dwight K. Schrute: Welcome to the Sesame Avenue Daycare Center for infants and toddlers.
Jim: Aaah!
Mose: Aaah!
Dwight K. Schrute: You remember my cousin Mose.
Mose: Welcome children.
Pam: Were you painting in the dark?


 ‘Counseling’ Quotes

Quote from Erin

Erin: Disposable cameras are fun. Although it does seem wasteful and you don't ever get to see your pictures. If it's an important even that you want to remember, I recommend using a real camera. But I don't care if I forget today.

Quote from Ryan

Ryan: Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores. Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learn more from Dr. Seuss than from Dr. Freud. Earth: you don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. I don't know. Just use the best one.

Quote from Pam

Sales guy: Who can I speak to in this office about saving on window treatments?
Erin: I don't know.
Sales guy: Is one of you the office administrator?
Pam: [hesitates] I am. I am the office administrator!
Sales guy: Can I show you a few samples?
Pam: Oh, we're not interested. We're not interested at all.
[aside to camera:]
Pam: There are a few ways to get promoted. One is to wait for an opening and apply for it. That's the main way. But this could work.

 Dwight K. Schrute Quotes

Quote from Product Recall

Dwight K. Schrute: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.

Quote from The Farm

Erin: Dwight, what a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.
Dwight K. Schrute: I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. My aunt Shirley has died.
Pam: Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry. Were you guys close?
Dwight K. Schrute: I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.

Quote from Dunder Mifflin Infinity

Dwight K. Schrute: I'm going to live for a very long time. My grandma Schrute lived to be 101. My grandpa Mannheim is 103, and still puttering around down in Argentina. I tried to go visit him once but my travel visa was protested by the Shoah Foundation.