Michael Scott: A lot of people are really getting into Halloween this year! Six seconds, MacGruber! [lifts head] Pam's got a lot of fun stuff planned! Uh, two seconds MacGruber! Including a costume contest, and bobbing for apples, and a Ouija board. Oh! Boom! Oh, explosion! MacGruber!

Pam: People are really into the costume contest this year. Might have something to do with the prize, maybe you've heard of it. The 2011 Scranton Wilkes-Barre coupon book worth over fifteen thousand dollars in savings!

Dwight K. Schrute: Oh-ho! That's very funny. Looks like someone decided to dress up as old Dwight Schrute's mom.
Pam: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: You're only one third as beautiful and only half her height.
Pam: I'm supposed to be Olive Oyl. And it makes more sense when I'm standing next to Popeye, but... Jim doesn't want to put his costume on.
Jim: [places pipe in mouth] I am Popeye!

Jim: I've never really been a costume guy. Even when I was a kid, it just felt like something I was too old for. And then this morning, when Pam hands me this little number ... no.

Todd: Lame. Why don't witches wear panties?
Michael Scott: Oh, here we go!
Todd: Because they need to grip the broom!
Michael Scott: [laughs] Oh! Who likes to water ski on Lake Erie? No wait. Where does Dracula like to water ski?
Dwight K. Schrute: Lake Erie.

Danny: Excuse me, everybody. I want to invite you all to the Halloween party I'm having at my bar.
Kevin: You own a bar?
Danny: Public School, at exit 11.
Oscar: That's a great name. You're hilarious. A+!
Danny: So. You're all on the list!
Ryan: Hey, man, can I get a plus five? It's all guys.
Creed: Hey, what's the crowd like, Danny? Our age?
Danny: Okay.

Kevin: I don't think that she would leave Jim for Danny.
Phyllis: I don't know, they're both handsome.
Dwight K. Schrute: Pam is gonna choose whoever has a scent most like that of her father. Does anyone remember what her dad smelled like?

Jim: So four years ago, when I was in Stamford, Connecticut, and dating someone else, Pam went on two dates with Danny. Which was obviously the greatest love story ever told, given how much people are walking on eggshells around us.
Pam: We were basically Romeo and Juliet.
Jim: That's right.
Pam: Except where Juliet doesn't have that great a time and Romeo doesn't call back after two dates.
Jim: Yikes.
Pam: But I've learned to love again. He's a cartoon sailor.
Jim: Oh, no.
Pam: And looks so handsome in his uniform! Please?
Jim: No. No, I'm not gonna- No.

Andy: You know what else? [pulling fake teeth out of his mouth] The-this... this sucks for Jim. Right? But it also sucks for us. Because we don't get invited to a ton of Halloween parties. [puts teeth back in]
Kevin: Yeah, and everyone else is gonna be there. Stanley, Phyllis, Angela, Darryl... Creed's a maybe.
Andy: [removes teeth] Creed's going?!

Michael Scott: Hi, Darryl, come out here, please.
Darryl: [on speaker phone] I'm good.
Michael Scott: You need to stop being so shy, come out here, and embrace who you really are, superstar!
Darryl: This is embarrassing, Michael.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I bet it is! If you're gonna do your job well here, you gotta get used to being embarrassed.
Darryl: Let me put my shoes on.