Michael Scott: Will they throw their hats, you think?
Ryan: What?
Michael Scott: A lot of times, at a school or naval academy, after a rousing speech the crowd will throw its hats high into the air.
Ryan: You understand, nobody's graduating.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I know. I know. I'm just saying, if they did throw their hats, I've got a great line for that. May your hats fly as high your dreams! That was a pretty good line.

Michael Scott: Okay, I'm seeing some confused faces out there. Let me slow down a little bit, break this down. Okay. The more stickers you sell, the more profit, fancy word for money, you have to buy PlayStations and Beanie Babies-

Dwight K. Schrute: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. Will you form an allegiance-
Creed: Sure.
Dwight K. Schrute: to use sudden violence?
Creed: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?
Creed: What size?

Ryan: Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do my presentation. And, of course I was wrong to suggest that Dunder Mifflin might ever go out of business. But you don't have to fire me.
Michael Scott: Fire you? No, no, no. You are moving to the annex.
Ryan: To the annex? Where Kelly is?
Michael Scott: A good manager doesn't fire people. He hires people and inspires people. People, Ryan. And people will never go out of business.

Michael Scott: Campus. Brings back so many memories that I would have made.

Michael Scott: Okay. This is it. Ryan is doing my intro right now.
Ryan: Dunder Mifflin can't compete with the modern chains, and management is unwilling or unable to adapt.
Their customers are dying off-
Michael Scott: I can't hear what he's saying, but he looks like he's really into it.

[individually, to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: We have a bat in the office.
Toby: Simple solution would be to open a window, if we had windows that could open.
Angela: Poop is raining from the ceilings. Poop.

Jim: Ow!
Karen: What happened?
Jim: That bread on your desk. I just picked it up. It's white hot.
Karen: But, Jim, this garlic bread is cold.
Jim: What? No, it burned me, I- Bizarre.

Toby: This looks great. I'd love to be there, but my daughter's play is tonight. Damn it! You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it. So...
Pam: Oh, no, you should go.
Toby: Well, it's important to support local art. You know? And what they do is not art.

Karen: Hey, Jim, here's the aspirin you wanted.
Jim: Oh, thank God. I've such a headache from that glare.
Karen: What glare?
Jim: The glare off Angela's crucifix. It's blinding.