Frankie: Well... I just think it's rude. You're having fun in the middle of the night without me. You're cheating on me with fun.
Mike: [laughs] Frankie, come on. You make a big deal of the smallest things. It's a freezer-burned steak. Here, you want a bite?
Frankie: No, I don't want a bite. I want to be invited by my husband to have dinner with him. You know, this is worse than an affair.
Mike: [chuckles] What?
Frankie: Yeah. I could understand if there were someone prettier or younger than me. But you're more interested in nobody. That hurts.
Mike: It's a steak. I was hungry. I made a steak.
Frankie: You know, I was rolling over to say "I'm sorry." I was about to apologize.
Mike: You know, I think it's really convenient that you're always "about to" do something really nice just before I do something you blame me for.
Frankie: Well, by the way, I wasn't rolling over to apologize. I was rolling over to apologize.
Mike: [to himself] Should have picked up that phone.

Frankie: Ugh. Why do the kids always leave their crap in here? Mike, look at this. They're throwing a surprise party for us. [gasps] It's all our friends and family together at our church. I can't believe they're doing this. Music and speeches and a skit. And it's all happening. Everything's crossed off. We have the best kids. Don't we have the best kids?
Mike: Yeah. Almost makes you want to forgive the husband that gave 'em to ya.
Frankie: Here, put this back in Sue's room.

Brick: Here. If you'd like to know how the dinner ends, ask Axl.

Frankie: [v.o.] 30 minutes later and still no food, friends, or family... just Sue and a pot of boiling water. I was beginning to wonder about that notebook.
Sue: Sorry for the delay. It shouldn't be long now. Oh, and I've just been informed we're out of pop, so how about a couple of nice glasses of refreshing tap water?
Frankie: [quietly to Mike] This is either the best mislead ever, or this is it.
Mike: I think this is it.
Frankie: Really?
Mike: Would you come to this if you didn't have to be here?

Frankie: [v.o.] Another 30 minutes, and we still hadn't eaten, and it was clear now that nobody else was coming. Which is crazy, 'cause I saw the notebook, and everything was crossed off. Oh.
Sue: A-and he said, "so you're really gonna marry this guy?" [sizzling] And Mom said, "yes." And he said, "Well, all right." You should really hear Grandpa Big Mike tell it. It's so romantic.

Sue: [sobs] We apologize for the inconvenience, but it appears there's going to be an additional delay. Perhaps some cold cereal while you wait?

Frankie: What's this?
Mike: Open it.
Frankie: Oh, Mike! Oh, my God.
Sue: Oh, Dad.
Axl: Smooth.
Frankie: It's so beautiful! Wait. I got you a card. Damn it. It's here somewhere. A-and I still might have to sign it, but...
Mike: Frankie.
Frankie: [sighs] Oh. I really love it.
Frankie: [v.o.] So it turns out the guy who didn't take my calls and eats steak in the middle of the night saved up all year to buy me a ring. Yep. Even the people you know best in the world can still surprise you. Yep. Sometimes they surprise you a lot.

Frankie: Oh, I see. So you ignoring my phone calls is actually you being thoughtful?
Mike: I'm just saying there's two sides.
Frankie: No, there's not. There's one very mean side. And you know what? Now that I'm looking at you, I'm glad you didn't answer. 'Cause you're not that cute... at all. You're actually kind of old.

Sue: Oh, my God. That was so close. [breathing deeply] Oh, God. When Dad said "surprised," I totally thought they were onto us. You know, I don't know how you guys kept it together.

Axl: [to Brick] Oh, my God. Still? It's been two days. Now you're just milking it. You're making me feel like this is somehow my fault. Fine. Be a baby. I'm just saying, you should eat something, 'cause it's not healthy.