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TV or Not TV

‘TV or Not TV’

Season 1, Episode 20 -  Aired April 14, 2010

When Frankie and Mike cut the cable cord to save money, they struggle to find new hobbies while the kids quickly fill their time.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Wait a minute. This is part of his plan. Turn us against each other so we lose track of time.
Steve: Yeah, that's my plan.
Steve: Look, here's the thing. Spend less, cut back, pay off your debts. Seven of your credit cards have doubled their rates. Pay them down.
Frankie: Okay, wait a second. I have one really important question. What if we...? [timer dings] Never mind.

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Quote from Brick

Brick: We're eating at the table?
Sue: Oh, no. Dad's dying.
Frankie: Nobody's dying. We're just eating the stuff out of the fridge before it goes bad. Dad grilled the crap out of everything but I would still give it the sniff test before you put it in your mouth.
Mike: Now listen, your mom and I met with this financial advisor today. And he says we're doing pretty good. We just gotta manage our money a little better, which means that until the quarry reopens, we just gotta find ways to cut back.
Axl: I vote we let Brick go. He's the weakest link. I say we leave him in the woods and walk away.
Frankie: Great suggestion. But how about we buy less takeout food and I cook more?
Brick: I'll take my chances in the woods.

Quote from Frankie

[Frankie and Mike sit on lawn chairs in a garden]
Frankie: This is nice.
Mike: Yeah.
[A woman pulls her drapes shut so Frankie and Mike can't watch her TV through the window]
Frankie: [sighs] We gotta get a hobby.
Mike: Yeah.

Quote from Aunt Edie

Reverend Hayver: B-13.
Aunt Edie: And don't forget to stamp the middle square. It's a freebie.
Mike: Mm.
Aunt Edie: [whispers] And if you wanna smoke... [bends down under the table] [coughs] No one will know.
Mike: Thanks for the tip. And the burn in my pants.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I'm holding more money than I ever have in my whole life.
Mike: Wanna roll around in it?
Frankie: There's only ten bills here. We'd feel stupid. Oh, this is so great. Oh, there is so much we can do with this. Like our financial advisor said, finally pay down our credit cards.
Mike: Yeah, it's great. Paying that down will feel great.
Frankie: So great.
Mike: To know we're doing the right thing, that's gonna really feel great. [places his hand on TV] I mean, winning the money at church is obviously some kind of sign from God.
Frankie: [picks up TV remote] Or was it a test from God? A test to see if we would use it to enjoy life.
Mike: Well, there's a lot of things to spend it on, if we weren't gonna pay the debt down. But you're right. We should be responsible.
Mike: Definitely.
Frankie: Although... Shouldn't how we spend the money be a family decision?
Mike: Yes. A family decision.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Mom? Dad? If things go south today, I just want you to know my personal effects are in the peanut can under my bed.
Mike: Good to know, son. But you're not getting out of recess.

Quote from Brick

Brick: I've been reconning all week and I have a plan to get us back into the library. We just need to get Mr. Seifried away from that door.
Corey: Uh-uh. I'm too scared. What if we get hit?
Brick: Do you wanna stay in this stinking playground forever?
Corey: No. All right, then. Now, my intel says the handball boys hate the four-square boys. So if we get them together, it'll create a diversion, giving us time to make it to the library.
Corey: But how?
Brick: With this. The key to the whole operation. The double-Dutch girls. [whispers] Double-Dutch.

Quote from Mike

Mike: You're crazy if you think something's just gonna drop in your lap. We just won $1000. How much luck do you think we're entitled to?
Axl: Uh, Dad?
Frankie: All of it. All of it, Mike. I'm going for more. Big spin. Big spin. I'm going all the way.
Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out the kids weren't wrong. A lot of important messages do come over the TV.
Axl: Mom, Dad. The quarry's open.
Mike: Wow. I'm going back to work.
Frankie: We won! Big winners! Big winners!
Sue: What's going on?
Mike: I just got my job back.
Frankie: We spun and we won. [Frankie and Sue shriek]
Frankie: [v.o.] See? It's not delusional. In a country where this is possible, Sue could be a supermodel. Axl could be a rock star. Brick could be a great leader of men. You just gotta believe and keep spinning, because you never know.

Quote from Sue

Frankie: [v.o.] It's a great American tradition to believe anything's possible. I don't know if it's all the game shows we were raised on or what. But secretly, we think we're just one spin of the wheel or one roll of the dice away from being a big winner. That kind of crazy, delusional thinking is practically bred into us.
Sue: So I'm at the mall in front of Hot Dogs USA and this woman comes and tells me that I have what it takes to be a model. [shrieks]
Axl: You guys wanna take this or should I just jump in?
Frankie: Axl. A model? That's great.
Sue: I know. And she said she or one of her associates could train me to be a model and even get me glossy headshots all for $500. Okay, look. I know what you are thinking but I've seen pictures of supermodels when they were my age, and they are not that great.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Honey, you totally have it. But what we don't have is that kind of money.
Sue: If I save enough babysitting, can I do it?
Frankie: Sure.
Frankie: [v.o.] At a buck-fifty an hour, I figured that was a bet worth taking.

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