Sue: Mom, look, I have the same jeans as Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Frankie: Yeah, about that. Sue, I have some bad news. You know that new dryer that we have that we found that's just so new and so good. It's really too good.
Sue: What are you talking about?
Frankie: Honey, the dryer shrunk your jeans.
Sue: What?
Frankie: I'm so, so sorry. I just feel terrible.
Sue: That's okay. It's not your fault.
Frankie: I know, but I just feel horrible.
Sue: Don't feel horrible. They were just jeans. And the truth is, you were right before. It really is about what's inside that counts. I just have to let my inner light shine through.
Frankie: [v.o.] Okay, yeah, that's not what really happened.

Sue: How could you do this to me? You just want to ruin my life. You knew how important they were to me, and you didn't keep them safe. You don't care about anyone but yourself. I hate you.
Frankie: Honey, you don't really feel that. A lot of that is just hormones talking. You're frustrated and disappointed. I'm just gonna give you some space. And we'll talk about it more when you've calmed down.
Frankie: [v.o.] Okay, that didn't happen either.
Frankie: Oh, yeah? Well, you are no picnic to live with either. You think I don't do anything for you? Let me tell you something, missy. All I do are things for you. And right now, I'm not sure it's worth it.
Sue: Then leave me alone.
Frankie: You don't have to ask me twice. [Sue whimpers]
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep. The crying, the mood swings, the unpredictable behavior... it's a tough time.

Sue: Hey, Dad. Do you know where my lip gloss is?
Mike: Uh, no.
Sue: That's okay, I'll find it. Thanks, Dad. [walks off]
Mike: Wanna tell me why my daughter is asking me about lip gloss?
Frankie: Because she's still punishing me. Well, the joke's on her, because I know it went through the wash with her jeans.

Mike: I gotta go pick up Axl. The car broke down. Typical teenager. He probably tried to push it over 20.

Axl: Way to go, Dad. I told you it was the carburetor. [whispers to Kate] He's so lame.
Mike: It's not the carburetor.
Axl: [normal voice] You don't know. You don't know anything. [whispers to Kate] He doesn't know anything.
Mike: Axl. Watch it. I was just trying to help.
Kate: So I'm texting Bella that your dad is dropping us at the movies. I'm texting Bella that your dad is tall.
Axl: Tall and clueless.
Mike: Okay, here we are.
Kate: This is my house.
Mike: That's right, Kate. Axl isn't gonna be able to go out with you. I'm sorry, because clearly you're a very high level of girl. But until Axl learns the correct way to talk to his dad, he's not going anywhere. You're welcome to text Bella that too.

Mike: He told me I didn't know anything.
Frankie: What? You know a ton.
Mike: Thank you.
Frankie: Sue hates me.
Mike: That's crazy. You totally rock.
Frankie: Right? No. We thought we could help them and it just seems to enrage them.
Mike: It's nature's way. Teenagers put you through hell so you don't miss them when they go.
Frankie: Yeah, nature's smart.
Mike: They're good kids. If this is the worst of it, we'll be fine.
Frankie: You're right. We're lucky.
Mike: Very lucky.
Frankie: Of course, we could be luckier.
Mike: Don't I know it.

Sue: Hi, Dad. Morning, Mom.
Frankie: [v.o.] And just like that and for no particular reason, Sue was back to her sweet self. I knew it wouldn't last, so I just went with it.
Sue: Oh, and Mom, I wanted you to know that I decided to wear my new jeans to the drama club audition anyway. I'm just gonna wear them as Bermudas. Bermudas are in.
Frankie: [v.o.] They're not, but I wasn't saying a word.
Frankie: That's great, honey. I think I stuck them in the laundry room.

Sue: I can't go to school today. My hair is stringy, my face is too oval and I have no friends.
Frankie: Honey, we all have those days. Why don't you take a sick day? It'll be our little secret.
Sue: And not see my friends? Yeah, great idea, Mom. God, it's like you don't even understand me at all.

Brick: Okay, I'll tell them. [hangs up] Aunt Edie and Aunt Ginny are on a bus to Vegas and they forgot to get someone to watch Doris.
Mike: Oh, no. I'm not taking that dog again.
Brick: I'll do it.
Frankie: How about one of the guys at the quarry?
Mike: I suppose I could ask.
Brick: I'll do it.
Frankie: Or that creepy neighbor with the glass eye?
Mike: I thought he was dead.

Sue: I'm trying out for drama club and I have nothing to wear. Nothing.
Mike: Drama club. Sounds about right. [Sue sobs] All right, that's enough of that. Stop crying right now.
Frankie: Okay, Mike, why don't you just go. I'll handle this?