‘The Jeans’
Season 1, Episode 11 - Aired January 6, 2010
After Mike gives Axl a lecture about earning money to buy his own car, Frankie buys Sue an expensive pair of jeans to boost her self-esteem. Meanwhile, Brick takes care of Aunt Edie's dog, Doris.
Quote from Brick
Mike: Hey, buddy. How was the first day watching the dog?
Brick: Oh.
Mike: Yeah, I know. Oh. You left her at the end of the driveway. Go get her.
Frankie: Hey, Brick, why is Doris at the end...?
Mike: He knows. He's on it.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: You know what? I just don't like this in principle, because it makes me feel... Well, I'm just gonna say it, Mike. Less than. And I am not "less than."
Mike: Let me see it.
Frankie: No.
Mike: Frankie.
Frankie: No.
Mike: All right. If you don't want me to see it, then that's your business. Whatever.
Frankie: Mike. No, don't take that. Give it. Get your hands out. No, don't read that. There's a present for you on there.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Look, Mike, I know this seems frivolous, but at her age, fitting in is important. And if I can do one thing to help her fit in, I'm gonna help her look cool.
Sue: You guys are not even gonna recognize me. So? What do you think?
Frankie: It's just great, honey.
Mike: Yup, money well spent.
Quote from Mike
Mike: I was thinking, maybe we should, you know, buy Axl a car.
Frankie: What? Where is this coming from? You just told him the other day he had to work for it.
Mike: Yeah, but a guy needs a car. Especially with the level of girl he's dating.
Frankie: Level? What do you mean level?
Mike: [points to toothbrush in mouth] I can't.
Frankie: Yeah, eventually you're gonna have to spit.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: That cost a hundred and twelve bucks?
Mike: Hundred and ten. Keep the change. Buy yourself something pretty.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] Well, I guess Mike and I discovered what the rich have known all along. Throw money at a problem and it'll go away.
Axl: Might be the carburetor?
Mike: No, it's the engine mount. We tighten that, you're good.
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike and Axl were getting along. Brick hadn't killed the dog yet.
Brick: Come on, girl. Fetch. Come on, Doris. Go get it, girl.
Frankie: [v.o.] And Sue was over the moon with her new jeans. I thought I was handling the teen years pretty well.
Quote from Frankie
Sue: The callback audition has to be a new monologue. Do you think The Crucible or Grease would show off the jeans more? I could do my hair...
Frankie: [v.o.] I shrunk the magic jeans. Oh, no, God. Take my jeans instead.
Frankie: You have an audition to worry about. You should go rest.
Sue: But it's the middle of the day.
Frankie: Are you serious about this audition or not?
Quote from Axl
Axl: Hey, Dad, great idea gapping the spark plugs. She is running sweet now. You're the man. So, what do you think about this shirt? Am I trying too hard, or?
Mike: A girl like that? You gotta try hard.
Sue: [chuckles] You know it. [fist bumps Mike]
Both: Boom!
Mike: [chuckles] He's a good kid.
Frankie: Shut up.
Quote from Axl
Kate: I'm texting Bella that you picked me up in your own car. I'm texting Bella that you look really cute tonight. I'm texting Bella that I look really cute tonight. [car rattles and splutters]
Axl: You don't have to text Bella about this.
Quote from Frankie
Axl: God, Dad is trying to ruin my entire life.
Frankie: [to Mike] Aw. Come here, I'll fist bump you.