Bob: Look, Frankie, if he doesn't get it done, he doesn't get it done. It's not your job to save him.
Frankie: Bob, you don't know what happened. They already think he's a nerd.
Bob: All right, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I was a nerd.
Frankie: Uh-huh.
Bob: Blows your mind, right?
Frankie: Yeah.
Bob: Best thing my folks ever did was let me fail. Everything. They didn't put training wheels on my bike. Broke my wrist three times. But I learned. Now every time I think I can't do something, I just listen to the click of my wrist.
Frankie: [v.o.] Clearly, Bob had terrible, terrible parents. But there was a grain of truth to what he was saying.

Mike: Bob. What are you doing here?
Bob: Oh, we just put the kids to bed.
Frankie: Yeah.
Bob: Thought we'd watch a little TV. Well, can I get you a beer?
Mike: Uh, no, thanks, Bob. I got it. Those my pajama bottoms?
Bob: Oh, yeah. I got paint on my pants. They're in the wash. So I grabbed a pair of yours. I knew you'd be okay with it.
Mike: Get out, Bob.
Bob: You sure? Because Maroon 5's on Kimmel tonight.
Mike: I don't know who that is, Bob. Drive safe.

Frankie: [v.o.] So the day of the election had arrived, and I was ready to let Brick sink or swim. But if he really started sinking, I was prepared to pull a fire alarm.

Frankie: And you sucked it up and everything. Did he say why?
Mike: Why, yes, he did. He said he didn't believe anyone could be that passionate about septic tanks. He sensed a certain falseness in my enthusiasm.
Frankie: Oh.

Sue: I can't believe he won. I have tried out for a million things and I've never gotten anything. It's just not fair.
Frankie: I know it seems that way now, but you were right there on the back of his poster... pushing him from behind. So, in a way, it's your victory too.
Sue: Well, I'm just worried about him. If he got the first thing he tried out for, how is he ever gonna grow as a person? Actually, I feel sorry for him.
Frankie: We all do, honey.
Mike: How about that brother of yours, huh? Nailed it on his first try. God, I'm proud of that kid. I haven't felt like this since Axl went to regionals.
Sue: I have character.

Mike: I'm telling you, it's tough out there. I don't know how anybody gets a job.
Axl: Hey, I got a job. The guy from the theater texted me. I'm working the projector. And he says I can have girls up there. [chuckles]

Frankie: [v.o.] So Mike called the Orson Herald, who called the local news, who called the national news. And just like that...
Mike's Boss: So we gotta shut down for four months to let the paleontologists dig. [all murmuring]
Frankie: [v.o.] Mike was out of a job.

Mike: They're closing the quarry so scientists can come in and dig up the rest of it.
Axl: Dude.
Mike: Yeah.
Sue: Oh, my God, you lost your job? Are we gonna be okay?
Mike: Don't worry, It's just a few months.
Frankie: We'll be fine.
Mike: Absolutely.
Frankie: Nothing to worry about. Hey, Mike, can I see you in the kitchen for a sec?

Brick: But I can't get them done by tomorrow. I need paper and a copier and... Oh, no, what am I gonna do?
Frankie: Oh, no. Don't look at me. If you forgot to make fliers, then I g uess you'll just be the candidate without fliers. You know the deal, pal. You are on your own. I am not doing it.
[cut to:]
Bob: Ooh, personal copies on company time? Daddy likes a bad girl.
Frankie: Yeah, Mommy likes to keep her job, so could you watch the door?
Bob: Sure. Don't worry, I'm cool. Sometimes I sit on Mr. Ehlert's desk with no pants on. Yep. [whispers] Every day a little victory.

Axl: No funnel cake? No rides? Ah, this fair sucks. Let's just get our jobs and get out of here.
Mike: Axl, this is what you gotta do to get a job. Now, watch and learn.
Charles: Welcome to CFB Consulting. I'm Charles F. Barnes, a.k.a. CFB.
Mike: Hi, Mike Heck.
Charles: Well, Mike, let's see that résumé. First of all, I'd say you have a major font problem.
Mike: What?
Charles: Ah. It's a little dry. I can give your résumé a complete makeover for $100. Now, if you want a more comprehensive career consultation, my weekend packages start at $500. It's a better price than any of these other booths.
Mike: Wait. This is a racket. There are no jobs here. You just lure people who are out of work so you can sell them crap they can't afford.
Charles: Just trying to make a living.