Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, the world could ignore one Sue Heck, but not two. I guess the point is, you can't change who you are, just like I can't change Mike and he can't change me, so I don't know why we've spent all these years trying. Maybe 'cause marriage is long, and if you didn't fight, you really would run out of things to talk about. And then there are those in our family who embrace change, and as far as Brick, well, he didn't get a presidential pardon, but he learned something from his challenge after all That there's a difference between getting laughed at and getting a laugh.
Brick: Okay. Everyone get ready to count to a hundred. [kids laugh]
Frankie: [v.o.] And Sue got in the yearbook after all, as Sue Heck, not Suki.
Sue: [screams] We did it! And I got my very own page.
Jane Marsh: I want to see. Let me see.
[A black page at the end of the yearbook features a photograph of Sue in her Wrestlerettes costume with the text "In Memoriam Sue Heck 'Gone too soon'"]
Frankie: [v.o.] Turns out, they always reserve a page just in case somebody dies. No one did. They said they'd change the copy, but in their defense, the book had already gone to press.

Frankie: [v.o.] Every marriage has its three classic fights, and we sure got ours.
Frankie: We need a new bed.
Mike: We don't need a new bed.
Frankie: Really? We don't? Try to get out.
Mike: What?
Frankie: Right now. Try to get out of bed. The house is on fire. Go. Go! [Mike groans as he falls back] Yeah. Too late. You're dead.

Frankie: Listen, I found a really cute bed at Bedder Beds 4 Less, and it has drawers underneath, and the headboard has these little lighted cubbyholes to display our stuff.
Mike: We don't need more spaces to shove stuff in. And what stuff are we talking about anyway? Like, that old Band-Aid that's been on your nightstand since Halloween? You want to display that?
Frankie: Hey, I have nice stuff. It just gets lost in all the crap, so it doesn't look nice. It's all in the presentation.

Brick: [enters] It's the Presidential Fitness Challenge at school this week. You're not seriously gonna make me suffer that humiliation again, are you?
Frankie & Mike: Yes.

Frankie: Look, this is what we're sleeping on. [Mike groans] Just look. People in crack dens are lying on nicer mattresses.
Mike: It's fine. You just gotta flip it. [lifts mattress up] It doesn't have a third side, does it?

Sue: Hey. Can I ask you guys a question about yearbook pictures for teams and clubs?
Debbie: Uh... Why is she talking to us?
Courtney: I don't know.
Sue: I was just asking 'cause I'm a Wrestlerette, and it's so weird... but we never had our picture taken.
Debbie: Wrestlerettes? Do we have those?
Courtney: I don't think so. Uh, what's that?
Sue: We cheer and sometimes do light laundry for the wrestling team.
Debbie: There's a wrestling team? Did you know that, Court?
Courtney: No, but I'll ask around and see if there is.
Sue: There is. We have them, and I cheer for them, and we were supposed to get our picture in the yearbook.
Debbie: Look, I don't want to be mean because we just had the anti-bullying seminar, but Wrestleroos or whatever you just said you are is not something we really have here. Sorry.

Sue: Uh, excuse me, Ms. Bratton. My name is Sue Heck, and I thought, since you're yearbook advisor, you might be able to tell me when the Wrestlerettes are getting their picture taken for the yearbook.
Ms. Bratton: Wrestlerettes? Never heard of 'em.
Sue: Oh. Well, uh, we're cheerleaders for the wrestling team.
Ms. Bratton: Oh, whatever. It doesn't matter. It's gone to press.
Sue: No. Wait a minute. How could it have gone to press? I mean, I didn't even get my individual picture taken.
Ms. Bratton: Oh, I'm sorry if I was unclear. What I meant to say was, "It's gone to press."
Sue: No, please. You don't get it. See, I had this whole thing in junior high with the yearbook where I never got in, and now the exact same thing is happening right now, and...
Ms. Bratton: Oh, look, look, you're clearly having thoughts about things. Maybe you should talk to the guidance counselor.
Sue: [to herself] Guidance counselor? We have a guidance counselor?

Sue: Oh, looks like you're busy. I can come back.
Jane Marsh: Cramps - nurse has the heating pads. Early dismissal - attendance office. Bus trouble - main office.
Sue: Uh, no. Uh, I'm actually looking for the guidance counselor.
Jane Marsh: You are?
Sue: Uh-huh.
Jane Marsh: You really came to see me?
Sue: Oh, I mean, you're probably booked all day, but...
Jane Marsh: Well, let me check. Would you look at that? I think I can squeeze you in. Oh, come in. Come in. Sit. Sit. Jane Marsh. Guidance counselor.
Sue: Sue Heck. Lost frosh.

Frankie: He doesn't like change. We're making the bedroom into a sanctuary.
Salesman: Yes, that's very popular these days.
Frankie: See? He doesn't get it.
Mike: Can we not do this here?
Frankie: What?
Mike: Have a whole discussion about our personal life. Look, we're getting the bed. Can we just get the bed?

Frankie: I'm just so excited about the sanctuary.
Axl: Wait. Isn't a sanctuary where they lock up crazy people?
Mike: Yes.