![The Friend](assets/uploads/8/mdbb5ddac7051c279d06231e99a81c02d5df23d8c8.jpg)
‘The Friend’
Season 4, Episode 13 - Aired January 23, 2013
Frankie gets overly involved when she encourages Mike to hang out with their new neighbor, Jeff (David Koechner). Sue is unhappy when the cheerleaders take over supporting the wresting team. Meanwhile, Brick causes Axl to question whether he's intellectually compatible with Cassidy.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: So did you hear the buzz on the block? The new neighbors have finally moved into the Meenahan's house.
Mike: Mm-hmm.
Frankie: Yeah. I'm bringing these over to welcome 'em to the neighborhood.
Mike: You're bringing potato chips?
Frankie: It doesn't matter what you bring. It's that you brought something. So you wanna come with me?
Mike: Not in any way.
Frankie: Aw, come on. It's the neighborly thing to do. It'll give us a chance to check out their stuff.
Mike: We already know it's better than ours. What's the point?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Hi. Frankie Heck. We just live down the street. You know, the house with all the screaming coming out of it? [both laugh] Anyway, it's just a little something from our home to yours.
Colleen: Aw. That is so sweet. Colleen Webber. Get on in here. It's cold out there.
Frankie: Whoa. Looks like a lot of the neighbors have been stopping by.
Colleen: Well, no. Just one, actually. Nancy Donahue. Do you know her?
Frankie: Uh, yeah. I think I do.
Quote from Frankie
Colleen: That's my husband. He's watching the game with a few guys he met at work. Honey, Jeff! Come meet the neighbor!
Jeff: Hey. Sorry about the noise. Hi, I'm Jeff.
Frankie: Hi, Jeff. Frankie Heck.
Jeff: Hi. I'm gonna stare at you for three seconds, then I'll never forget your name. Locked and loaded.
Colleen: He's amazing with names.
Jeff: Thanks... Rhonda, right? [Frankie and Jeff laugh] Hey, did you bring these, Frankie? Have to say, hands down, best welcome gift we've gotten.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hi! Yeah, hang on. Mike, it's for you.
Mike: It's never for me. It's probably some solicitor.
Frankie: It's not a solicitor. It's Jeff, our new neighbor.
Mike: That's what they tell you to get you on the phone. Just hang up.
Frankie: Mike, I'm pretty sure it's him.
Mike: Why is he calling me?
Frankie: I don't know. Just take it.
Mike: Find out what he wants.
Frankie: I don't know what he wants. [lowered voice] He can hear you.
Mike: [into the phone] Uh... hello?
Quote from Mike
Jeff: You must have played back in the day.
Mike: I haven't played in a while. My knee.
Jeff: You still have your original knee? I'm like 50% titanium.
Mike: Sucks gettin' old, doesn't it?
Jeff: Yeah, I hear you. Sometimes I have to pee while I'm peeing. [crowd cheers] Good! Tied it up.
Mike: Nice shot.
Jeff: Yes. [goes to high-five Mike]
Mike: Sorry, pulled my right shoulder. I gotta go left.
Jeff: Oh, that's a no-go for me. Tweaked my back. Ooh.
Mike: What do you say we just sit and drink more beer?
Jeff: That sounds good.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Hold on a sec. [chuckles] I, uh... thought maybe we could have a conversation. Thought maybe we could, uh, you know, con-verse.
Cassidy: Oh. Okay. What do you wanna "con-verse" about?
Axl: Well, uh, I thought you could start, 'cause, you know, I was the one that came up with the idea of talking. [laughs] [clicks tongue] Okay. Uh, I'll start. Hey, you going to the pep rally?
Cassidy: Uh, no. Why would I? Come on, Axl. I had two AP tests today. I don't feel like talking. I hope that's cool.
Axl: Yeah. Pfft. [chuckles] Totally cool, yeah.
Quote from Mike
Jeff: So... my house for the next one?
Mike: You got it. [Jeff laughs] All right. I'll see you around. Thanks. It was fun.
Jeff: Don't thank me. Thank your wife. She's the one that suggested it.
Mike: Suggested what?
Jeff: You know, us getting together.
Mike: Uh-huh?
Jeff: Yeah, she said you were shy. You're not shy. If anything, you talk too much. [laughs] I'm just kiddin'. Have a good one.
Mike: Yeah. Will do.
Quote from Sue
Principal Cameron: And that's why you should always wear socks. Okay, students, please put your hands together for something we've never had at this school before. Hmm? Wrestling cheerleaders!
[The crowd cheers and Courtney, Debbie and the rest of the Thundering Hens take the stage. Sue and her band of Wrestlerettes walk into the gymnasium.]
Sue: Not so fast.
Quote from Sue
Debbie: Uh, what are you doing here?
Sue: What we are doing here is fighting for Wrestlerettes, which I founded. Yeah, founded. It's a word. Look it up.
Courtney: I don't get it. Do you get it, Deb?
Debbie: No, I don't.
Sue: How about we let the school decide who gets to cheer for the wrestlers? Oh, that's right. Time to bring it on.
Courtney & Debbie: Oh, my God. It's a cheer-off! [applauase]